And I will tell you what place you get on Survivor and why (if you were on the tv show)
#Paige54 12th Blindsided right before merge for being a strong male physical immunity threat #smuguy2012 6th place Ciried out when everyone and their mother plays safety #zachbbs You get the 5th Abi-Maria edit your original alliance is voted out and you survive for several round despite the whole cast hating you #Arris You dont get past the first round of casting interviews, try The Price is Right might have some luck with that show #Pureessence 3rd but you lose the jury vote because the jury feels like you skated by using strong men to make finals #YoundAndReckless 8th You get blindsided by an idol play by the little twat you were voting out, good thing is there are several gay bottoms at Ponderosa just waiting for you to plow their holes #BengalBoy 4th you lose a firebreaking comp, you thought it was going to be weightlifting but your manly hands keep snapping the twigs you were using on accident and you lost #FelipeS 10th You got purple rocked king, but you threw your rock at Pureessence on your way out assuring the bitch you would not vote for her #Chic 2nd place the whole cast underestimated your ability, but honey you slayed even though you won like no challenges. In the end some of your honest jury answers lost you the million #BlueLagoon506 Lmao last place you actually ask to quit, because a better oppurtunity came up and you got selected for the Amazing Race with me. Grab your passport Vish we are going to see the world #Lemjam6 3rd we thought it was a final 3 but it was a final 2, all of America knows you would have won had Jeff not rigged it for males and white basic females #DanielleDonato 1st you flew under the radar and the jury was surprised you even existed till you came out and pull off your mask revealing you were not a female but a white cis gendered male who took home a million dollars #thumper91 5th voted off for being a physical immunity threat. Many of the comps were swimming based and your boots acting as flotation devices made you a threat #daddydev 14th voted off for being misunderstood, yet you come back for fans vs favorites and win the hearts of millions when you demand levonini show you his fake teeth for your jury vote #iybf 6th You get voted off when your brother StinkyLoser comes for a family visit and makes the whole tribe stinky #J2999 20th you get voted off first because the American males are jealous of your posh accent and the fact you came to the island with a nice suit. You come back and win second chances though #Allieboballie 4th you go to every tribal of the season and receive votes at each one because everyone wants you out. Despite your sticky situation you are not phased and continue to slay till you get the last boot before finals #vlad21 3rd you make it the end but the jury feels like you backstabbed more than necessary and refused to vote you #Littlemix You get 13th after a tribe swap leaves you super fucked but you eat all their rice and burn their shelter down before you go #damo1990 7th you gave up a crucial immunity option in the auction for Simona Halep tennis tickets NotNicky333 Ejected from the island at final 5 because producers find out you lied about your age, you come back for Survivor High School and bowl down the competition and win the whole show TotalDramaLover1234 You are on the track to win but get 8th and expelled from the game after an anxiety attack causes you to throw hot water at Notafraid who def was afraid Cheeseman2468 15th Sorry king a bad swap leaves you with a bunch of uglies who vote you out s73100 6th when you go to rock for your ally and then get rocked the fuck out sister. MIDTERMS BABY Kuririn 7th for purple level marietori 1st you follow in Todd's footsteps as our next gay winner. Your showmance with willtraitor and alliance with allieboballie took you to the end, and you snagged the jury vote Atom1cEvan 9th you make merge because everyone forgets you exist, but once you merge you start snatching immunity left and right, when you finally lose one you are sent packing NexusCain You appear with Jane as the NC representatives for Survivor One America, you eventually get 4th in a firebreaking after Jane tied the vote to give you a chance. darbe You follow j2999 out on his season for having a posh accent, you return as a lawyer for the white collar tribe and eventually get 2nd. You end up losing to Bigmamat of the no collar tribe as she shakes her tits to a million dollar payout austino15fffan 8th you are placed on the Silver tribe in Survivor Lol, you are the leader of your tribe till merge when your alliance members are swayed by a hot Diamond player and they vote you off. thisismygame You go on a comp winning streak till you lose and get 4th for the jury threat bluejay7622 2nd We join together on Blood vs Water and you carry me till 5th I get voted out and you blow up at everyone screaming at them. I tried to rally you the jury votes but I came up short varlto 15th the producers found out you smuggled in a giant strawberry and ejected you from the game mrmomo15 You do not compete on Survivor at all. Instead you become a professional Just Dance dancer Burgerman2929292 8th med evac after eating too many Burgers at a reward challenge GrrrImABear 11th you were in a great place in the game, but quit after Mercedes gets voted out on your season of Blood vs Water mbarnish1 6th You go farther then anyone expected but are voted out because people think you are a jury threat admir You are actually not playing Survivor and are their medical Doctor. You do my post examination and we fall in love, and move to NYC where you use your money to buy me a nice apartment and start your illustrious singing career omggiraffe You get 5th but win tickets to a African safari where you get to see giraffes so you leave content amnesia_ You have to leave for 10th place when you get amnesia and start freaking out not remembering why you are on the island maxi1234 You start out on a tribe with me in Fans vs Fav. I show a love interest for you once we swap but you say two bottoms dont make a top, and then kiss me in the jungle and you tell me it cant be. I am devastated but we continue to work together one tribal I pull out an idol and save you from getting 6th and we crabwalk to the finals. Everyone hated us so we got 3rd and 2nd. You go back to Canada and find a nice hunky husband and I go to live with admir emzthorne 7th You were doing great till I came for a family visit and you took me into the woods and really made me come if you get my drift. Well the tribe was homophobic and gave you the boot
I can save you some time and tell you I would last a short time and then I would find a way to get voted out. I couldn鈥檛 endure the no food or sleeping outside very long.
