I shot myself
1stFeb 8, 2018
- On Jan. 27th, I took my brothers gun and shot myself in the chest. I missed my heart by 1 inch. I almost didn't make it, but the doctors managed to stabilize me the next morning on Jan. 28th. From the 27th to the 30th I was out and only remember bits and pieces of what happened those days. I woke up with a breathing tube down my throat and a tube in the side of me because my left lung was collapsed. When they pulled out the breathing tube and the tube in my lung it hurt, but it meant I was getting better. my lungs where getting stronger again. Once I was strong enough to stand on my own, they sent me to the Psych ward for 3 days. Which some of the people in there are scary, but most of the people I talked to shouldn't had been in there really, but they were there for a reason like me. The whole event was traumatizing and makes me afraid of myself if I'm actually capable of doing something like that, I'm on antidepressants now and I'm hoping those thoughts never return. I don't like feeling that low, because when your that low your very fragile, so when someone encouraged me to do it, I just broke and don't want to ever be in that dark place again.
I'm just venting btw, because it's better to talk about it then to keep it inside, and what better place to vent then to total strangers. Plus I hope this will help raise suicide and cyberbullying awareness, so people know it's not a joke.
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