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hinata0014

hinata0014's blogBlog

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  4. I shot myself
  5. I love this song by Logic
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I shot myself

1stFeb 8, 2018 by hinata0014
On Jan. 27th, I took my brothers gun and shot myself in the chest. I missed my heart by 1 inch. I almost didn't make it, but the doctors managed to stabilize me the next morning on Jan. 28th. From the 27th to the 30th I was out and only remember bits and pieces of what happened those days. I woke up with a breathing tube down my throat and a tube in the side of me because my left lung was collapsed. When they pulled out the breathing tube and the tube in my lung it hurt, but it meant I was getting better. my lungs where getting stronger again. Once I was strong enough to stand on my own, they sent me to the Psych ward for 3 days. Which some of the people in there are scary, but most of the people I talked to shouldn't had been in there really, but they were there for a reason like me. The whole event was traumatizing and makes me afraid of myself if I'm actually capable of doing something like that, I'm on antidepressants now and I'm hoping those thoughts never return. I don't like feeling that low, because when your that low your very fragile, so when someone encouraged me to do it, I just broke and don't want to ever be in that dark place again.

I'm just venting btw, because it's better to talk about it then to keep it inside, and what better place to vent then to total strangers. Plus I hope this will help raise suicide and cyberbullying awareness, so people know it's not a joke.

Comments

my heart goes out to you.
Sent by Brxan,Feb 8, 2018
My god that’s awful. I really hope you’re ok & are talking to someone.
You have another chance and it will get better. 💙
Sent by PrincessTeePee,Feb 8, 2018
this is heartbreaking
Sent by Carsonl,Feb 8, 2018
omg :(
Sent by gagaluv,Feb 8, 2018
I vent a lot too it’s alright, I hope you get better and you have a nice life. I’m really glad you’re on antidepressants. I want you to live a long time.
Sent by Philip13,Feb 8, 2018
I’m glad you were given a second chance and hope you find the help and strength to get better! This stranger is Sending you lots of hugs 💜
Sent by k4r4k,Feb 8, 2018
;-(
Sent by 2Evolution,Feb 8, 2018
It's a hard place to be in. Until you've gotten to that point, you can't say you understand how someone feels. Just take this as a warning that it isn't your time yet.
Sent by amartin,Feb 8, 2018
Omg :zoo hope everything gets better dude :(
Sent by C00LDUDE1000,Feb 8, 2018
That’s supposed to be :O
Sent by C00LDUDE1000,Feb 8, 2018
stay strong +
Sent by Lauttyy,Feb 8, 2018
Thanks for sharing.

Tell yourself everyday that you love yourself it’ll help build your self worth cause we are all special in this world 💕 stay strong love
Sent by XxLoveWakizaxX,Feb 8, 2018
im so sorry that happened :( im glad to hear you survived and are getting better ♥
Sent by bowling4fun,Feb 8, 2018
i am so sorry to hear this, please don’t listen to anyone who has anything negative to say :(
Sent by RyanAndrews,Feb 8, 2018
Oh my goodness
I am so sorry :( Hope ur okay now <333
Sent by 2388,Feb 8, 2018
Omg Austin ily mail me
Sent by wwemrpeeps,Feb 8, 2018
+
Sent by Sparky4444,Feb 8, 2018
wtf why :( im glad you’re okay
Sent by Zuelke,Feb 8, 2018
Glad you were able to pull through. Hate reading this. Remember my username. Leaving the door open anytime if you wanna talk or looking for a friend :)
Sent by Tyler93,Feb 8, 2018
Omg i hope you get better! Hmu if you wanna talk, i care
Sent by Kaylabby,Feb 8, 2018
Yikes :(
Sent by Cromatique,Feb 8, 2018
hinata0014 Aww I hope that you get better soon. You are such a great person and you have been such a great friend to me on tengaged for so many years. If you ever need anyone to talk to then just send me a mail or message me on skype. I would be happy to listen to you if you ever need to vent to anyone.
Sent by Megan,Feb 9, 2018
damn god was really looking out for you cause thats crazy to survive something like that hope thatll never cross your mind again and surely youre strong to live through something like that keep hope alive and know that theres something to live to for my friend really strong message
Sent by AxKxAxBatman,Feb 9, 2018
It takes someone with courage to able to talk about something so serious on here. Giving how cruel it is here anymore, I hope that you can show some help to those that feel the way you do/did.

My thoughts go to you, and I am sorry for what you're going through. :(
Sent by AshlynArehart,Feb 9, 2018
ive thought about it before and i know its hard struggling with thoughts like that. im glad you survived and its made you stronger
Sent by PaulaDeen,Feb 9, 2018
Idk why you have to make this public to *raise awareness*, it's not raising awareness u basically just said how u almost died by shooting yourself in the heart and everything to do with being at the hospital and in the psych ward.

If u wanted to raise awareness u should tell us about ur story and how you got to the point of shooting urself in the heart. but i would not suggest it tbh unless u were completely comfortable with it.

I know this is prob the most bitchiest comment and im that negative bitch in the comment section, but those were the vibes i got from reading it.

Actually raise awareness or this is just top blog hungry.
Sent by adeleadele,Feb 9, 2018
Hope you make the most of your second chance hun. Just remember to tell yourself that things can only get better when you're down and YOU are in charge of your life.. Don't let the dark thoughts consume you, you are strong enough to take control of it and make something positive of your ordeal. It's time to be an inspiration for others now. Stay strong hun x
Sent by Jouix,Feb 9, 2018
Who shots himself in the chest?
Sent by Katherinee_,Feb 9, 2018
Omg this is so sad :/ that’s fucked up of the person who encouraged this people like that are so disgusting:/ I hope things get better for you
Sent by Thumper91,Feb 9, 2018
if u need a friend hmu hope things get easier for you xx <3
Sent by Oliviaxoxo,Feb 9, 2018
And guns are still legal smh
Sent by SexGoddx,Feb 9, 2018
1 inch free of you
Sent by Delia,Feb 9, 2018
That's why in Spain it is difficult to buy a weapon legally, there they sell them as candies
Sent by Nenikoo,Feb 9, 2018
Praying for you❤️
Sent by RightToCensor,Feb 9, 2018
Some people are so insensitive. Take care of yourself man, if u need someone to talk to don't hesitate to message me even though we don't know each other.
Sent by underwzc,Feb 9, 2018
Please no
Sent by Arizona_,Feb 9, 2018
Thats horrible, to go through something like that and feel like your only option is to take your own life... I'm really glad you are doing better now, ly ♥
Sent by Bix123,Feb 9, 2018
adeleadele lol at you saying he’s top blog hungry because he said he shot himself honestly you’re disgusting and it’s scary to think you consciously posted this
Sent by Funnehliner,Feb 9, 2018
Get better soon!
Sent by JackEdgeAKAtheEdge,Feb 9, 2018
its a shame that you missed
Sent by Antetokounmpo,Feb 9, 2018
adeleadele this is why you can't take gay people seriously
Sent by dwipeouts,Feb 9, 2018
Take that 1 inch and make it a mile, and always remember you deserve to be happy
Sent by MaryBethDaisy,Feb 9, 2018
hope you're doing better, this was really heartbreaking to read =[ try to always be positive!
Sent by Petro,Feb 9, 2018
Wow I’m glad you’re okay and are getting better!!
Sent by tharealmike,Feb 9, 2018
This is obviously tragic, sorry if I seemed insensitive and I wish you all the best! It's just it could have been easily avoided by one simple NECESSARY law.
Sent by SexGoddx,Feb 9, 2018
whoever told you to do it... drop them like a sack of potatos, they dont deserve to have you as a friend.
Sent by BB5lover,Feb 9, 2018
glad you are getting better and adeleadele he shot himself in the chest and that's the fire thing that comes to your mind? it's always better to get things off your mind so he wanted to tell us all.
Sent by Yellowpenguin,Feb 9, 2018
Bb5lover me when you told me, multiple times, to die over a frooks. Lmfao.
Sent by RobbX2,Feb 9, 2018
robbx2
A.) Thats not even true, and if it was please show me the receipts
B.) Being someone's confidente and talking to someone that is suicidal and telling them to kill themselves is completely different than telling someone to kill themselves because they nommed you in a frooks.
C.) Your BEST. FRIEND. tells people to kill themselves every single fucking day

so instead of barking up this tree... why dont you go talk to that ugly loser
Sent by BB5lover,Feb 9, 2018
Bb5lover

A.) Yes it is true, and you know it. Multiple people saw what you said. You want to talk big game and have a hollier than thou attitude, but you can't even own up to the shit you've said ? I remember verbatim you said ''DIE Robb, I hate you'' and many other things like I'm useless and should kill myself. Again, multiple people saw what you said to me, so there's really no point in lying. I would gladly show you the receipts if that game wasn't from a month ago, i really don't have the time to click every single frookies I play to prove to you what we both already know.

B.) This one is funny though, you kinda admit to what you said right there. You compare both situations, but you claim the situation I brought up never happened. Contradicting yourself much? But to answer your point. There is NEVER a right time to tell someone to kill themselves. As a joke, over a frooks, or by your biggest confident, it.is.never.right.to.tell.someone.to.go.kill.themselves.

C) My best friend is Franky. If you are referring to my good friend Rozlyn, then you should know him and I had that talk about that. He even said he was feeling bad about what he said to those people in the past. But hey, it's none of my business. I can't control what my friends do. BUT, you are right, it was wrong, and I brought that to him. So just because you point the finger at someone else doesn't mean you're not wrong. Two wrongs doesn't make a right.

And here you are, calling epople ugly loser on a blog about SUICIDE. Promoting violence and bullying on a suicide blog is, i'm sorry, a little sad.

With that being said, I am glad that person is doing fine.
Sent by RobbX2,Feb 9, 2018
Like why post this on tengaged. I have no sympathy, sorry!
Sent by Aerodynamics,Feb 9, 2018
https://tengaged.com/blog/Matisse/8467928/i-shot-myself
Sent by Matisse,Feb 9, 2018
Hinata0014 I do not know you, but I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I'm glad you're doing better and I hope things keep getting better. You're in my thoughts and my prayers bro. Stay strong, you can do this.
Sent by RobbX2,Feb 9, 2018
AdeleAdele wtf are you talking about, have you absolutely lost your mind???? get back to your stupid ranking blogs.

As for the blog, I see people who've managed to get past suicide attempt as survivors. You have a whole life ahead of you with a story  only you can and deserve to tell. There will always be a greater moment and allow yourself to find peace in both happiness and sadness. I wish you well!
Sent by Anas,Feb 9, 2018
https://tengaged.com/blog/Matisse/8467965/shot-chest
Sent by Matisse,Feb 9, 2018
robbx2 u dead ass wrote a novel, im not reading that
Sent by BB5lover,Feb 9, 2018
bb5lover I wasn't expecting more of you. THANK YOU ! lmfao
Sent by RobbX2,Feb 9, 2018
<3

After a hurricane comes a rainbow!
Sent by _Aria,Feb 9, 2018
mail me anytime if u need to talk
Sent by WhateverTheF,Feb 9, 2018
Wow some of these people commenting in here such insensitive assholes
Sent by wwemrpeeps,Feb 9, 2018
whateverthef how come you didn't go to the psych ward? You came to tengaged the next day.... u see that's why I find your story inconclusive. This is a real story
Sent by Jayglezst,Feb 9, 2018
jayglezst how many damn times do i need to ask u where i should send my discharge papers to? you never respond but u keep up this bs
Sent by WhateverTheF,Feb 9, 2018
whateverthef I'm not trying to start shit with u ... it's a question  that's all... no big deal ...im just curious
Sent by Jayglezst,Feb 9, 2018
jayglezst im not trying to start anything either but u and i have been through this. i told u what i would do to prove it (even though i dont owe u that) and u never resplied
Sent by WhateverTheF,Feb 9, 2018
About the psych ward, having been through three suicide attempts in my life, I can confirm that they don't always send you there. I was only sent there on my third attempt. Medical system mistake maybe ? Idk.
Sent by RobbX2,Feb 9, 2018
https://tengaged.com/blog/Matisse/8467928/i-shot-myself
Sent by Matisse,Feb 9, 2018
Glad you are ok. 💜
Sent by TaraG,Feb 9, 2018
adeleadele you really got the audacity to proofread a blog about suicide?  please castrate yourself
Sent by Zuelke,Feb 9, 2018
I say this with complete respect and love towards you. If you can afford it, please go to therapy. Your life has obviously burdened you to the point where you did something heinous to yourself and had the malicious intent behind it. And I don’t know your life but I’m scared that you may be put in a situation that causes a relapse and you hurt yourself (or worse) again. Tengaged is fine to vent on but please seek a professional who has studied the mind and can help you unpack whatever trauma got you here.

I say this as someone who wishes I could give this advice to people who used to be in my life
Sent by konohavillage1,Feb 9, 2018
Shit. Hinata, I got you man! I might not know you that well, but I get the feeling, trust me.
Sent by zorbo678,Feb 9, 2018
well maybe if you stanned loona you wouldnt have shot yourself
Sent by AlexaVonTrayne,Feb 9, 2018
toot toot
Sent by Ivy_Levan,Feb 9, 2018
yea guns should be taken away
Sent by Arris,Feb 9, 2018
++++++++++++
Sent by Mario23,Feb 9, 2018

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