Jun 27, 2019
- I just need to vent for a moment, on a topic that has plagued me for awhile now. Yes, I understand that this site has gone to shit, and I know this is not anything new, but I feel it's always better to write things out. Maybe, this can also help someone, someone who feels a similar way, or someone who should know that they aren't the only ones suffering from this.
I know I am far from the most liked person on this site, far from it. I am pretty sure most people hate me, but then again I am never sure if that is just me or my paranoia.
The worst person on this planet is me. I hate myself more than I hate anyone else, and if I can't even stand to be around myself, why would anyone else want to? That's the logic. That is the cycle that goes through my mind.
If it wasn't for this site when I was 16, 17, etc. I probably would have offed myself long ago. Most people on this site don't give a damn, but for those that did, it helped. It really did. For all the friends that feel like they can't help, you do.
But Depression isn't something that you can just beat. It always comes back, you can never escape it. That feeling of not being good enough never goes away for good. Sure, there will be days where I feel like I actually want to live, but those days are few and far between.
Tonight will be a tough one for me. I have gone through many before, and honestly, sometimes I am not sure if I will survive the night without having an overdose. But that isn't important.
None of that matters. It's the same old story. What you should know is that if you have a friend going through Depression, or Anxiety, or whatever else they are going through, go easy on them. Trust me, they don't want to feel this way. Nobody does. Sometimes it might not feel like you're breaking through, but you do help.
And if you are having nights where you feel like giving up, message me. I may not respond right away, but I know what hell feels like, and it is something I wouldn't want anyone else to go through alone. I may not know you personally, or we may have never even talked before, but I know what it's like when you are stuck with the person you hate the most, and nobody else. You don't have to feel alone..
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