GOODBYE.
Now, first of all, I know what you're thinking. Who is this self-righteous prick? Who does he think he is? He isn't famous on this site, he doesn't get a big dramatic farewell blog! But, alas, my dears, it appears that that time has come for me. Despite not really being on the site for over a year, and being a complete unknown and non-entity during my time on this site, I'm officially closing the door forever. But before I do so, you, lucky reader, get to here my last hurrah.
So I found this site about two years ago at a very dark and lonely time in my life. I had moved about a year back to a new state, and I missed my friends at home. Making friends at the new place proved to be...harder than expected. So, naturally, I was lonely and spent a lot of time at home. Dicking about one day, I came across Tengaged. I thought it'd be a cute, fun little thing to waste an hour or two on and distract myself from the pressing grip of solitary. Boy, was I wrong. Instead, it was months and months of that. You see, for me, as I'm sure it has for many of us, became an escape from reality, from the real world. I craved that, I wanted to get a way from my shitty life and talk to people who shared the same taste in reality television. So, that's what Tengaged came to represent for me.
Now, I'd like to pause for a moment to clarify something. I am *not* saying that Tengaged is only for lonely, depressed losers with no friends. It isn't. That's just what it was for me. I'm not trashing the site, I'm trashing what the site was for *me* and me alone.
Anyway, after a few months of this, I had a few of what I guess you could call friends. It was more along the lines of me pestering people to play games with me and me waiting for someone to come back online, mindlessly refreshing a page for hours on end. Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic. Eventually, though, something changed. I started realizing, "Hey! This isn't the real world!" This website, which had taken up so much of my time and devoured what little social life I had, this was hurting way more than it was helping. It was like a drug. It replaced reality with an illusion of things being alright. I had to make a change. So, I started to slowly withdraw myself form Tengaged. I stopped talking to a few of the people I had met that I really didn't like. I didn't play as many game. I got better and better, until I went on once a month, tops. This corresponded directly with my real life. I gained new friends, I started leaving the house more, I started giving a shit. In the end, the website that I thought I had found a home in ended up being the worst possible thing for me.
And so we come to present day. I'm home on a Friday night, babysitting my younger siblings, and I somehow end up here again. I start exploring the site, and I'm overwhelmed with the feelings I had over two years ago, the loneliness. So, I thought I'd officially close this chapter in my life. One last thing though: There are a very, very select few that I met here, you know who you are, that didn't contribute to the things I talked about in this blog. You are the special exceptions, the ones that make me think Tengaged wasn't totally a mistake, so don't get offended, please. With that, this is it. Goodbye, everyone that I ever had contact with during my time here. Goodbye, feelings of inadequacy that go hand in hand with this site. Goodbye, Tengaged. Goodbye forever.
