The sun broke over the capitol city of Bloxy Hills on the morning of King Dev's 50th nameday. The commoners of the city worked dutifully decorating the city in blue ribbons, and the children began to dress up in costumes that resembled lions. Of course, the children and many of the younger men and women took for granted this momentous occassion. They were too young to remember the past of neverending war, before Dev took the throne and kept the squabbling houses in check. How he did it, no one outside of the nobility knew. But they were joyous nonetheless.
The piercing sunlight bore through the window of the royal quarters and awoke the king from a shortlived slumber. Usually dawn was the time that the king preferred to go to sleep, but knowing his nameday celebration would be today, he attempted to get as much rest as he could. As he aged, the relative earliness of it became one of the reasons he loathed it, but he still enjoyed the attention he garnered. Still, he could not help but consider scrapping the tradition each year his nameday came around.
"Rise and shine, Your Highness!"
The king jumped and cast a bewildered glare at the man standing before him at the foot of his bed, fingers interlocked.
"You're not my new handmaiden, are you?" the king asked.
"As a matter of fact, I am!" the man responded jubilantly. His painted red lips curled into a grin. "Veronica Violet Vixen at your service!"
The king had been awake long enough now to keep the more offensive name he had thought to give to his new handmaiden behind his pursed lips. Instead he asked, "Where's Marwan?"
"Marwan?" Veronica said. "He works in the kitchen now. I should not tell you this, but he said he grew tired of climbing the stairs each morning to your chambers. How ungrateful, I must say! It is my honor to serve you in his place, Your Highness. I was actually in a state of shock when I was assigned to be your knew handmaiden. I am quite new to the castle and the capitol itself. I just arrived here last month from Boyce. It is a city far on the eastern coast-"
"Enough," Dev said pointedly, waving a quieting hand. "First of all, I don't need your entire life story. I'm only going to forget it right after you quit in a fortnight."
Veronica's smile faded. He had not realized it, but he was standing on his toes, and so the soles of his feet descended to the floor along with his excitement for his new role as handmaiden to the king.
"Second of all," Dev continued, "I don't know whether you're a eunuch or a zealot--or even worse, both--but I know Veronica isn't your real name."
"With all due respect, Your Highness," the handmaiden responded guardedly, "but Veronica is the name our god gave me."
"Our god?" Dev parried. "Your god is no god of mine. It is a figment of your imagination, just like that name you gave yourself. Besides, no all-knowing being would give you such a mouthful of a name."
"Forgive me, Your Grace, but are you not called by your name of Rebirth as well?" Veronica asked, startled by the king's brazen sacrilege.
"Hell no," the king replied. "My mother named me Dev and that's the name that will be on my headstone. Now, what is your name--your REAL name?"
"The name my mother gave me was Eric," Veronica said. "I have not been called by that name since I was a child, but if it is what you wish to call me, Your Grace, I will humbly oblige."
"Eric," the king repeated. He said it with a coy and mischievous expression, his mouth twisting as if he was tasting some exotic fruit. "Funny. I have never met any zealot like yourself who would yield their name of birth so easily. Not even to me. But you...dare I say, it's almost as if you lack conviction in your beliefs."
Eric looked to the floor. He could almost feel the eyes of the god Randomize beaming down on him with scorn. Surely he would understand that he only wanted to make the king happy? No...that thought did not ease his shame at all.
"I'm only teasing you," Dev scoffed. "Don't go quitting on me just yet. I still haven't been bathed."
"Right away, Your Grace," Eric said, approaching Dev with a newfound eagerness to forget everything that happened upon entering the king's quarters. As he began to undress him, he wondered to himself how the king could be so crude and heretical. His parents always spoke highly of the king, just as much as they did god. All of his peers regarded him as the most charming and softspoken man in the country. He knew that Dev had grown up a commoner, but he had not considered that he would speak like one. And he knew that not everyone believed in Randomize, but even nonbelievers knew better than to challenge his existence lest they desired to be executed.
Strange as the king is, it only makes sense that he speaks so freely, Eric thought. That is a privilege of being the king. Eric realized that Dev may not be as perfect as the general public thinks. But there is a reason that he is considered the greatest king the nation has ever had, that he has ruled the kingdom longer than any other that reigned before him. Whatever that reason may be, Eric would find out over time.
He made a vow to himself to stay at the king's side through all the trials he may face. His vigor to serve the king would never fade. He would prove to him that he is not another one of his fairweather handmaidens. He still adored Dev, after all. Regardless, his desire to be so close to the king was not his only reason for volunteering to the position...
...
It was now noon, and the daylong celebration had begun. As always, wives would prepare a daylong feast for their family as their husbands would laugh and share stories over ale. Children played in the streets that on all other days be occupied by merchants and soldiers. Meanwhile in the castle gardens, lords and ladies of all the noble houses--barring House Vanderpump in the Frost Isle--gathered for a private celebration. King Dev would eventually be there, but not before all of the other nobles had arrived, as was tradition. Until the truant Lady Lisa the Second of House Rinna arrived, Dev was forced to wait with his gregarious new handmaiden Eric.
"...and my friends and I would all dress as lions and chase one another as if we were beasts chasing after our next meal. As if we had not been eating all day! Haha! Oh, how I miss it."
"If you want," Dev said, quieting Eric's rambling, "you can go into the street and play with the children. For old time's sake. I won't tell on you, I swear it. On my honor."
Eric chuckled. "If only I were still a child. Alas, I have an important job now. Sure, my days of celebration on the King's Nameday are over, but I would not trade this position for anything in the kingdom."
Dev stared off responselessly, chin resting on his knuckles. Entertaining this kid was getting exhausting.
"You know," Eric continued, "I never understood the lion. Why do we parade around as them, anyway? I never thought about it until just now."
"I did not, either," Dev admitted. "Not until the first King's Nameday after my coronation. The lion is the sigil of my House--really, the House of my distant ancestor, the Queen Keesha. If Phyllis of House Glanville were still on the throne, all the children in the streets would be dressed as crows."
"Phyllis the Terrible?" Eric said. "The one you and your brother Edgar slew in the War of Reclamation?"
Dev paused. "We did not kill her, not for lack of trying. By the time my siblings and I reached the throne room, we found her at the edge of the balcony. Once she saw us, she jumped. I think she waited for us to see it happen so we would know it was all over."
"Why did she just...give up?" Eric asked further. "I always heard she was a fearsome warrior. Not the kind of person who would go down without taking everyone else down with her. When I heard my parents talk of that time, that is how they described her. But the story of her downfall always seemed so...incomplete."
"God, kid, are you a scribe or something?" Dev said. "It has been so long since all of that happened, and the details are foggy to me. If it interests you that much, go visit the castle library. We probably have one somewhere."
"I'm afraid I never learned to read," Eric said.
"Or write?" Dev asked, eyebrow arched. "So if you did not write it, then who did you task with preparing my speech before the ceremony?"
"Oh, was that something I was supposed to do?"
Dev sighed.
Somewhere nearby, the two heard some jubilant shouting.
"...sorry for being late! On the way here, our carriage was toppled by a wine casket. Somehow I ended up drinking all of it. Ha! Let the festivities begin!"
"That sounds like Lady Lisa," Eric remarked.
"Are you two acquainted?" Dev asked.
"Uh, not really," Eric replied. "I just know she loves a good drink. My town resides in the region her house governs. I told you I am from Boyce, did I not?"
"Probably ten different times since we have met," Dev quipped. "I do not know where anything is. If you gave me a map and asked me where we are on it, I would not be able to tell you."
But he is the king! Eric thought. How could he even say such things, admitting that he could not even find the very kingdom he rules on a map? Every time Dev spoke, he only seemed to grow more and more bizarre.
"Your Highness..." A squirrely boy approached carrying an unbound parchment, pinching each end of it as if it was a practiced art. "I have word from the Frost Isle. Lady Dalia says that she could not attend due to, in her words, a leaky boat. She offers condolences for her absence."
"What a joke," Dev scoffed. "I can barely remember the times where she did attend a noble gathering. Send a raven back telling her I would be happy to surround her paltry island with all the ships in the Bloxian navy if she has such trouble producing a boat to travel here."
"As you wish," the page said. "With Lady Dalia certainly not attending, the guests are ready to receive you, Your Highness. Come with me."
Dev followed the boy, and Eric flanked the king close behind. As they approached the interior of the garden, they passed several knights, one of whom lifted his helmet to greet the king.
"Happy nameday, Dev!" the knight said jovially as they passed. It turned out to be Eddie, Dev's brother. "Thought you were already fifty by the way you look, but I guess I was wrong."
Dev knocked his brother's helmet back onto his head, and the two shared a laugh. They walked on, Eric peering back at Eddie as they passed before risking the king yet another question.
"Your brother is a mere knight? Not even part of the King's Guard, or anything special? I would never have imagined someone of his status resorting to such a lowly position. A lowly position for him, I mean to say."
"None of my siblings really have any status. Actually, my sister Erin does, but only because she married Lord Ethan of House Glanville."
"House Glanville..." Eric pondered aloud. "You said that was the house of Queen Phyllis, right?"
"Yes," the king confirmed. "Phyllis is his sister. They are--well, were quite close when she was still alive. She only held power for a little under two years, and he was not implicated in any of the awful things she did to get that power, but I have no doubt in my mind he was in her ear the whole time. He is a complete scoundrel. I wouldn't even trust him with my chamber pot."
"But every noble in the kingdom is here, Your Highness," Eric said. "If he is also here..."
"Don't worry yourself over him," Dev replied, stifling a laugh. "He is completely harmless. He is smart enough to know not to fuck with me. A coward, through and through."
They strolled further through the garden. The sound of bards playing music and singing, once faint, was now much louder as they neared the scene of the party. Growing louder too was the chatter of nobles, gossiping and exchanging pleasantries of varying levels of sincerity.
"Attention!" the page said as he, the king, and Eric came into full view. The talking and music stopped, and all turned their attention to the guest of honor. "I present to to you Devon, Heir to the lost House Richards, Child of the First Queen, the Sword of Justice, and the King of Robloxia!"
Dev looked down his nose at the applauding nobles before him. Smiling and clapping they may be, but he knew they all wished to see him crumble. He did not try to appease them like other rulers before him. He himself was really only a noble by bloodline alone. Where his predecessor was despised by her subjects, he was despised by the nobility.
"Welcome once again to the King's Nameday celebration" Dev said, keeping his stoic expression. "Having done this twenty seven times before, I find myself at a loss for what to say..." His eyes flick to Eric, who looks away guiltily. "...so I am going to keep this short. For a generation now our houses have worked together to maintain the peace in our shared kingdom. That is mostly thanks to me, of course..."
Lisa chortled and doused her dress in wine.
"...but admittedly I could not have done so without the cooperation of all of you. By cooperating with one another, we have repelled the kingdoms of the Widows and the Switchbullies to the north, as well as the empire of Old Robloxia to the south. What were once warfronts have since become mere borders. Let us all raise a toast to my glorious reign, and to the hope of another thirty years of peace and prosperity!"
As everyone raised their drinks, an unknown voice suddenly broke over the garden:
"You also need to have a glass in your hand to raise a toast, you fucking moron."
The nobles turned to face the figure stumbling out of the wall of foliage opposite the king. One side of his face was covered by his black, leafstrewn hair. It did not however hide the menacing stare or the gritted teeth of the nameless man who materialized from the hedges.
"Who is this?" Dev said to his page. "Probably a relative of Dalia's."
"The name's Charlie. I am but a man who resides in this pathetic kingdom of yours," he spat. "We were on the right track when Queen Phyllis ruled. Finally we had someone in power who didn't come from the same swamp as all of you rotten, god-fearing rats. I thought you were like her too, Dev...but here you are rubbing shoulders with the very people who have oppressed mine for centuries!"
"If you knew anything about me," Dev said, "you'd know I don't give one fuck about any of these people. My allegiance is with the common folk. Always has been. Guards, get this guy out of here before he says something else he'll regret."
The knights circling the perimeter of the garden closed in on Charlie. He trembled as he reached for something in his pocket.
"Maybe..." he said through shaky breaths. "...Maybe I can save this country."
What happened next was all a blur. The guards could not reach Charlie in time before he sent a knife whizzing in the air toward Dev. Eric reflexively shoved the king to the ground just in time for it to miss his right eye, instead sending a lock of his long blonde hair cascading to the stone floor. The terrified nobles fled, pouring between the fallen king as the guards apprehended the would-be killer.
"Y-your Highness!" Eric stammered. "Are you hurt?"
"By the random cocksucker with the knife in his pocket, no. By you pushing me onto the ground, a little bit."
"B-but I only was trying to-"
"Save it."
The bewildered handmaiden stared as the king got back onto his feet.
"I don't do this often," the king said hesitantly. "But thank you. I owe you my life."
For once, Eric was speechless.
"What shall we do with 'im?" a guard said as he shoved the bedraggled assailant forward.
"Take him to the dungeons," Dev decided. "We have to properly identify this freak before we can have a trial. For now, I am returning to my chambers. I need to just...take all this in."
With a sweep of his cape, Dev turned and strutted away. Eric, having been too shaken himself from witnessing an assassination attempt on the king, did not follow. His mind raced with thoughts of what might have happened had he not been there. Would he be home now, celebrating the King's Nameday cluelessly all before a friar announced the tragic death of the beloved king?
But Dev was alive. That is enough to be grateful, Eric thought. But one thing was painfully clear from his first day as handmaiden of the king: the king is not as invincible as he once imagined.
...
After a while, the eventful King's Nameday bled into a quiet night. Outside the castle walls, no one knew of the attempt on the king's life, and celebrated onward as if all was normal. Dev watched from his chamber window, waiting impatiently for the festivities to die out. It was well passed midnight before the king finally deemed it safe to sneak out of his chambers. Not seconds after creeping out of his bedroom with the dim glow of a lantern did he see Eric standing by his door, startling them both.
"Eric! What the fuck are you doing outside my door?"
Eric stepped back. "I was just keeping guard, Your Highness. You have no one posted outside your chamber."
"I do not NEED anyone posted outside my chamber," Dev said, failing to contain his irritation at his sticky handmaiden. "Clearly some drunk idiot with a knife and a deathwish happened upon the castle and found me by chance. Never in my twenty eight years of rule has there been a legitimate assassination plot against me."
"How would you even know that?" Eric replied.
Dev glared. "You're testing your luck, kid. You did your part today. Don't overdo it, or I'll have you in the dungeons at a moment's notice. Go back to the handmaidens' quarters and do not bother me for the rest of the night. Alright?"
Eric stormed off, the king walking in the opposite direction. But before Eric lost sight of him, he let his curiosity lead him back in the king's footsteps. After all, where could he possibly be going at this time of night? Especially with dangerous people like that Charlie possibly lurking around?
Eric quietly trailed behind Dev as he descended the stairs and into the main corridor. It was by no means a straight shot, either; along the way, Dev took strange detours that puzzled Eric at first, but he realized he was avoiding the guards that were patrolling nearly every corner of the castle. Somehow he managed to escape their sight. It was like he had done it many times before.
Eric stayed behind the cover of darkness as the king approached a man he thought he recognized. Yes, he was one of the nobles in the royal garden that same afternoon, but he was at a loss trying to discern which of them it was. Could it be either Jake or Josh, younger brothers to Lady Lexey of House Jayne? Or perhaps some other minor lord of a house he had not known the name of?
"Where's Erin?" Dev asked as he approached him. "I mean, Jenna."
"She's Piper now," the man replied.
"How many fucking times can somebody be Reborn?"
"You only need to do it once, but I guess as many times as you want if you're in love with Randomize like that. Between us, I think she just can't settle on what to rename herself."
"You are absolutely right," Dev responded. "I have never agreed with you as much as I do right now, Ethan."
Lord Ethan?! The one who was aligned with Phyllis the Terrible, the one Dev regarded as untrustworthy?!
"Yeah..." Ethan said, chuckling softly. "But anyway, after the commotion at the party, Piper decided she was too afraid to make the journey. She never really had a reason to go with us anyway. I'm sure you trust me enough now that we can go visit them without any third party watching over us?"
"I did," Dev remarked, "until a deluded Phyllis-loyalist from your realm tried to do me in."
Ethan frowned. "Look, I have no idea who that guy was. Not that my opinion really matters given my own suspicion, but he did not seem to have the makings of a trained assassin. He was clearly driven by his emotions."
"Calm down, I know you didn't do that," Dev assured. "But just so you're aware, basically every noble I've spoken to thinks otherwise. I've instructed them to keep their baseless accusations, and everything that happened in the garden today, to themselves. I can't afford what happened today to become public knowledge, much less that your house might have had something to do with it. If it did..."
"...war would fall upon the kingdom once more," Ethan finished.
"And I can't afford that," Dev said. "I've held this kingdom together for twenty eight years. I am not planning to let it fall to chaos any time soon."
"Wow, Dev," Ethan replied. "For the longest time I regarded you as an ignorant meathead, but your political savvy is honestly beyond compare."
"I blame you," Dev replied. "We can continue briefing each other on the way. We'll need enough time to return before dawn."
"Alright, then let's head out."
The pair exited the castle doors and moments later, the sound of horses galloping off echoed through the empty halls until they fell silent once more. All that was left was Eric, visible only by the light of the open gates left ajar by the king and Lord Ethan.
Eric, like most of the people of Robloxia, once regarded Dev as a brave and forthright man. But he knew now it was all a facade. In reality, Eric thought, the king is actually a man of many secrets.
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(You've reached the end of this episode. Thanks for reading! Let me know if you want to be tagged in future episodes!)
