mama z: so this challenge is gonna be an individual immunity challenge. everyone is competing for themselves now. ok this challenge is called "stand on a thing" snd here's how it works. you will all stand on a thing and the last person standing wins. ok go.
*everyone balances on the thing*
*darrius drops*
*jenz drops*
*julie drops*
mama z: 7 people left!
*deshon drops*
*colin drops*
*eli drops*
*nicholas drops*
mama z: 3 people left! now it's time for some temptations~! which one of you will drop for a case of beers?
*rj drops*
mama z: we have a taker! enjoy, rj!
*rj cracks the beercan on its side like an egg and chugs*
andrew: drunk ass bitch
rj: you're lucky i dropped or you wouldve had no chance in hell
andrew: annnyways...
rj: ok, let's see you win then.
*an hour passes*
*andrew begins to tremble and falls*
mama z: jason wins immunity!
rj: good job andrew :)
andrew: hon i still outlasted you
rj: BECAUSE I DROPPED ON PURPOSE, WHAT LMFAO
andrew: so did i. hehehe!
(BACK AT CAMP...)
rj: *chugs another beer* i just feel like i dont know a weirder bitch that no one likes than andrew.
andrew: you're intoxicated hon. do you need someone to drive you home?
jenzie (cf): it;s a whole ass jumpcut later and they're STILL ARGUING???
rj: andrew are you trying to fuckin say im going home bitch LMAO. bc i didnt need that immunity but you definitely did.
rj: yeah andrew we both lost but i get a whole case of beers so :)
andrew: im a martini girl anyway
nicholas: me, julie, and rj are the only 3 original yes ma'amers left. i really dont need any of us in the spotlight right now, but rj is building a case for himself to get voted out.
jason (cf): i was entertained by the argument, but now i think im missing a perfect opportunity to try and find the idol. everyone's distracted, and plus i have immunity so no one will be able to really do anything about it...
*jason looks around camp*
jason (cf): i was about to head out to look for it in the woods, but something seemed off about the campfire...
*jason spots a bag and picks it up and there's an idol*
jason (cf): i did it! i havent been this excited since they drafted up the dakota XL pipeline!
nicholas: psst, jason!
*jason quickly swallows the idol between his ass cheeks*
nicholas: i need to talk to you. got a second?
jason: sure.
nicholas (cf): it's campaign time. i couldnt save montana but i can probably save rj if i get the right people.
*nicholas gathers jason and jenzie*
nicholas: ok so here's the deal, ya mama is clearly in the minority here and i think some people are gonna try and take the easy way out on this vote and get rid of me, rj, or julie.
jenz: oh im voting julie, no worries pooh <3
nicholas: wait! i know julie said that thing to you about your lips but honestly, the bitch barely knows english. do you think she actually knew what she was saying to you?
jenz: no joke, i really dont care about that i just want to be the last girl standing.
nicholas: yeah but jenzie, there's no way in hell she's gonna outlast you either way. so the longer she's in the game, by default, the longer you are in the game too.
jenz: truuuue, truuue. what if we vote eli instead?
jason: im down.
nicholas: yeah i am too. one less person from the deshon/darrius/eli trio is good for everyone. you know if even one if them made it to the finale, they have 2 jury votes on lock. im gonna talk to julie and rj, but who else do you guys think we can get on our side?
jason: maybe andrew. possibly even darrius, actually. they had some friction on our old tribe.
nicholas: ok, you go talk to them and ill check with rj and julie.
*nicholas approaches them*
nicholas: hey guys so the vote im hearing for tonight is eli.
rj: fuck that shit *chugs another beer and throws the can into the ocean* im voting andrew
julie: i vote jenz
nicholas: ...ok but nobody is doing either of what you guys are doing
rj: *burps*
julie: *stares silently*
nicholas (cf): why do i feel like my allies are always trying to vote themselves out... is it me? do i smell?
*meanwhile...*
jason: hey andrew, what do you think about voting eli?
andrew: hon, why would i do that
jason: well the trio of him darrius and deshon are pretty threatening. if we let them slide they'll take us out and vote each other to win.
andrew: who else is doing that
jason: well me, nicholas, jenz...
andrew: 3 votes?
jason: yeah but that's why im campaigning to you. maybe we can flip darrius to our side?
andrew: girl, how are they a threat but also flippable, that doesnt make sense.
jason: it doesnt but that's what im doing so.
andrew: ok doll. thanks for sharing
*andrew approaches colin, eli, darrius, and deshon*
andrew: im voting rj, everyone do the same or eli is going home.
eli: girl dont waltz up in here with your ultimatums, we already decided we're voting jenz.
colin: uhh, i didnt decide that?
eli: well julie is doing that too. that's 4 votes on jenz right there.
andrew: yeah and that's not a majority, baby! theyre all voting you hon. if we make it tie you might save yourself.
eli: hmm...
andrew: it's your choice, pea! oohoohoo! *twirls away*
eli (cf): i dont know what im gonna do on this vote. i dont like being strong armed, but i have to play smart. if im getting the votes then im just gonna have to throw the next best option in front of the bus, whoever that is.
deshon: andrew is trying to make is vote the way he wants but he isnt in the position to do so. he four of us plus rj can throw it right back to him instead.
colin: trueee
eli: that's an option.
darrius (cf): the only reason im even working with these bitches is cuz we're gonna be associated together anyways. but maybe if i backstab eli now, i could actually position myself better in the tribe... just maybe
(TRIBAL COUNCIL)
mama z: welcome everyone to tribal council. andrew, let's address the elephant in the council area - you and rj had quite a heated exchange at the challenge.
andrew: yes and im voting that bitch out.
mama z: rj? do you share that sentiment?
rj: *clears throat* i just feel like... andrew's a fuckin weird bitch who no one likes so everyone's gonna vote for him probably.
andrew: love, don't try me cuz i am NOT a free sample.
rj: oh my fucking god, you're a broken record. like come up with something else, you're so fucking annoying and ugly. you actually look like a fucking goblin.
andrew: i-
mama z: ok well we're gonna go ahead and vote before we get a lawsuit on our hands here. andrew, you're up first.
*andrew votes rj*
andrew: the only council you need to be at is AA. ha-HOW!
*nicholas votes eli*
nicholas: noah fence
*rj votes andrew*
rj: go the fuck home already.
mama z: ok ill go get the votes.
*mama z collects urn*
mama z: if anyone has an immunity idol, now is the time to use it.
*camera pans to jason*
jason: ...
mama z: alright, ill read the votes. first vote...
*flips*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
seventh person voted out of tbc survivor, "rj." please bring me your torch.
*rj shambles over to his torch and brings it to mama z*
mama z: rj, the tribe has spoken. *snuffs torch* it's time for you to go.
*rj shambles off*
mama z: a very cattywompus vote indeed. i cant wait to see how this pans out. grab your torches and head out. good night.
votes:
andrew: rj
colin: rj
darrius: rj
deshon: rj
eli: rj
jason: eli
jenz: eli
julie: jenz
nicholas: eli
rj: andrew
rj's parting words: that's what happens when you put a bunch of fire signs on a tribe together. shit happens. having that booze at the immunity challenge reminded me how much i missed it so i kinda stopped caring about the game anyway. andrew's annoying ass is getting kicked from tbc.
