(I DID NOT COME UP WITH THIS. I STOLE THIS IDEA FROM DONAAM)
last episode, the ability-focused champions of mama zu's season 2 duked it out for control of banshee's veil, and for part 2 of the 2 part season premiere, the attacker champions will vie for the edge of night! who will get a powerful EDGE in the competition? and who will have to fight to survive on the edge of glory?
*sion, irelia, kindred, kayle, ashe, teemo, and yorick enter the stage*
anyway onto the critiques
sion (defeat): oh jesus i did baaad this game... it was so embarrassing. i laned against a teemo so u can imagine how that goes. i mean according to op.gg our twitch jungle was the best on our team, but every single lane lost and he had no pressure anywhere. this was simply a pathetic loss!
irelia (victory): versing zed was obnoxious but it's hard to mess irelia up! she CSs so well that u still get items and stuff even if u feed a lil so u can keep up. and then we like, won!
kindred (defeat): i dont think this loss was completely my fault, but i focused too much on farming instead of ganking or objective control. even still, how does a yuumi support do more damage than top, mid, AND bot? like im sorry but...girl.
kayle (victory): idk if the kayle mini rework or w.e made her a little better early or something but renekton just let me farm all game. like i probably wouldve lost hard if renekton just harrassed me out hard, cuz i wasnt even doing spectacularly. also my other lanes were winning so yeah.
ashe (victory): i got filled support so i went arcane comet ashe with spectral sickle and i just have to say...wow. how is this not meta already? i mean bitches be acting like senna is the first support marksman but ashe has been here since day 1. she is just so good.
teemo (victory): i got MVP this game. like i honestly forgot how good i am with miss 'mo... his playstyle is simple, just be a fucking relentless cunt bitch all game. i got so fed that i one-shot pantheon once with my q... excellent work.
yorick (victory): ok so we won, but this game was annoying because everyone was focused on killing the enemy team over and over again instead of just ending the game. literally we couldve ended at 23 minutes and it lasted for 47. it just wasnt necessary. like i get yaw wanna have fun or whatnot but wtf are we waiting for? are we letting vayne finish her last item cuz yolo? are we trying to get malphite's frozen fist proc big enough to slow everything on the map? like girl... but ya my team focused up and we ended it once and for all!
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alright, i have made my decision.
many of you did well, but one of you stuck out as a major contender. teemo, your performance in this week's challenge was SICKENING! congratulations, you are the winner of this week's challenge! you will receive the edge of night, a gorgeous garment that also doubles as an advantage in this competition, courtesy of haus of gaga.
sion, you lost tonight because you did poorly. kindred, you lost tonight because you played it too safe, and it ultimately cost you the game. im sorry my dears, but you are up for elimination.
the rest of you are safe.
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two champions stand before me. kindred, sion, this is your last chance to impress me, and save your nexus from explosion. good luck, and don't fuck it up!
*kindred goes campy and acts like they're about to fall off the stage*
*sion tries to do a reveal but his zipper gets stuck so he fiddles with it for a minute*
kindred, shantay you both stay. you may join the other champions.
sion, you may be going home, but tanks like you will always hold a special place in my heart. now, sashay away.
*sion screams angrily and stomps away*
next time on mama zu's find my new league main, the two groups of champions will MERGE. who will rise to the top? and who will falter? find out next time on mama zu's find my new league main!
