I DID NOT COME UP WITH THIS. I STOLE THIS IDEA FROM DONAAM.
im posting this early bc my last one was late and i have time on my hands!
guest judging with me for this episode is my first ever main and mastery 7 champion on league. i got her in a random champion box that i bought for 3000 or something blue essence, and although i hated her, she was really fun to play. please welcome to the panel: jinx!
jinx: everybody, panic! *shoots rockets at the contestants*
if i call your name, please step forward...
rakan.
twitch.
brand.
fizz.
lux.
neeko.
you 6 are the tops and bottoms of the week. the rest of you are safe.
rakan (victory): i switched out summon aery for guardian in this game. i got a vayne again like in my last rakan game, but i wasnt all that worried cuz she had 300,000 mastery points on her. it also helped to ease my worry a little bit since we had a fucking 200,000 point mastery 7 yuumi on the other team. like, seriously? mastery 7? she's been out for only like, what, 4 months? anyway we were losing pretty hard, they had a fed tahm kench and he was proving to be extremely oppressive. but in the end we had vayne and kayle and the game lasted like 30 minutes so we turned it around.
twitch (victory): so the enemy support was dced and kept coming back and leaving at random times. so i got fed pretty easily off of the jinx who was in lane alone most of the time and i got to the point where i was roaming and getting kills as if i were an assassin (which twitch is, but ive never been so ahead early on to where i felt like i was in a position to roam and get kills). the enemy garen was fed and could sit under turrets taking shots and not losing any health, but he was ultimtaly mo match for my blade of the ruined king lord dominik's regards twitch!
jinx's commentary: you killed me so many times. and that really just...turns me on!
brand (defeat): i was doing really well but my team was fucking braindead. i gave kai'sa such a good lead, like we killed miss fortune so much that the enemy yuumi literally left and attached to the enemy malphite for the rest of the game. but my team went and fucked it all up. my top lane diana fed teemo, my sylas mid fed malphite, we had a zed jungle, everyone fed the enemy warwick... there was nothing i could do. i tried to shot call and go to baron cuz we won a 5v5 and all of us lived, but then malphite ulted and killed two of us, and then when we went to do it neither of my teammates did any damage and we ended up leashing for the enemy team. then they pushed and ended. all the while, kai'sa and diana were splitpushing 90% of the time and sylas was walking through every fucking teemo shroom. this was the most infuriating fucking game.
fizz (defeat): i wasn't FEEDING feeding, but i wasnt doing a lot of damage. i had someone going crit poppy so we didn't really have much of a frontline either, so i had to be the one to dive into the enemy team. a prevailing issue ive had with fizz is even with my e up, i cant jump into a fight and then jump right back out without dying if the enemy team is really fed. and they were REALLY FED. our jhin was a numbnut and couldnt point his ult at the enemy team to save his life. it wasnt even shooting the ult, it was simply aiming the ten thousand yard across cone at an enemy that he struggled with. i actually managed to steal a baron on my own which was totally huge and shouldve turned the game around for us, but then as my team pushed they all died instantaneously before they could get a tower. there was just no hope for this game.
lux (victory): i took her mid this game bc i was planning on playing neeko first, but she was banned so i had to play my backup. i was struggling against a riven mid but as the game wore on my team carried me to victory. idk if this is a veritable "comeback" for lux as one of the top contenders but she's back in the race i guess.
neeko (defeat): i hate to always blame my team for losing us the game, but im blaming my team anyway. i literally did everything right. i went 4/0/1 in the first ten minutes of the game, but literally every other person on my team fed. irelia took smite top and her and wukong proceeded to feed kayle in the first ten minutes. i repeat, KAYLE. then when i tried to press my lead bot, i ganked and landed a two man ultimate, but while i was doing that draven and karma were jerking each other off under the tower even though i told them i was coming. this game was over before it even started. it's just so aggravating bc i was doing really well. i said the brand game was infuriating but this one is right up there.
i have made my decision.
lux, you're safe.
twitch, your performance in the botlane was sickening. condragulations, my dear, you are the winner of this week's challenge.
rakan, you're safe.
fizz, quit flopping around. you're in the bottom 2 this week.
brand, despite your valiant efforts, your nexus went up in flames. neeko, although your trickery and deceit got you an early lead, there was no outwitting a fed kayle.
brand...
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...you're safe. that means neeko, im sorry my dear, but you are up for elimination.
two tricksters stand before me. fizz, neeko, this is your last chance to impress me and save your nexus from explosion. good luck...
jinx: and BLOW IT UP!
lipsync: get jinxed
*fizz does an upside down pirouette on his trident*
*neeko transforms into jinx and sprays the ceiling with bullets*
*jinx gives a standing ovation*
i have made my decision. i think both of you are amazing and fun to play, but i must keep the champion who i think i can get results with in future games. so with that said
*camera pans to fizz and neeko dramatically*
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neeko, shantay you stay.
fizz, you're leaving tonight with a bang. no matter how many episodes pass i will never forget your ICONIQUE baron steal. now, sashay away.
