Based on the message on how to deal with stockbrokers who try to sell you
their garbage by calling you right before lunch break, here is a similar
story based on one very boring afternoon at home with a Long-Distance
Company .
RING RING RING
Me: Hello?
SM: Hello, I am Gern Blanston representing the Flint Long Distance company. How are you today, sir?
Me: Fine.
SM: May I ask you what type of long distance company you are using?
Me: Duuuh... I duuno....
SM: You don't know? Well how would you like to be hooked up with the best
sattelite phone network of the 80's? We use-
Me: Duh, sure. Can I call my friend from, uh, far away?
SM: Er, yes. Our long distance service uses the best-
Me: He lives in Pango Pango...
SM: Yes, I see. Well you can call your fried overseas at a rate you'll-
Me: He has a lizard you know... his name is Ralph.
SM: I see, well you can-
Me: Ralph the lizard. He is green and sits in a tree.
SM: Well-
Me: A palm tree... with lots of, uh... leaves.
SM: Well, you will save money by using our new optical-
Me: Save money? Really?
SM: Of course! And if you-
Me: Well, how much is it per yard?
SM: Pardon me?
Me: How much is it per yard. Pango Pango is pretty far away from here...
SM: Well, I never really thought about it that way, but I can assure you-
Me: Will you have to drill a hole in my roof?
SM: Ah, no. You see, it works like this-
Me: 'Cause my friend Tom got one of them black dishes that you put on your
roof... and then he fell off and hurt himself real bad...
SM: Well, we don't actually come to your house-
Me: Crushed his wife's poodle. Flattened him right out, he did...
SM: If you could give me a minute to explain the proceess-
Me: Did I tell you I had a friend in Pango Pango?
I kept doing this act for about 20 minutes before the guy just finnaly gave me
his number to call him back. That salesman hung on like a pit bull! I guess
he must have thought I was so stupid, he would eventually sell me something.
