How/at what age did you know you were gay/bi? And when did you come out (if you have)? I'm genuinely curious/I love hearing people's stories.
For me, I started to suspect I liked girls at age 14 because I was on the tennis team and I kept staring at the long, gorgeous legs of the older girls on my team (or like 2 of them who were really pretty). But I thought for awhile that I just wanted to be like these girls (and I think this was true with one of them). With this other girl Melanie, though, it was definitely an attraction.
Anyway, I was going to church camp at the time and I told myself that even if I did happen to be gay/a lesbian, I would never confess it to anyone ever.
Flash to a year later when I had my first real crush - this was someone online, so there was a part of me that was telling myself it wasn't legit and didn't make me a lesbian (lesbian was a scary, taboo word for me for awhile - I still like to say gay). Two years after that, however, at age 17, there was this girl in my drama class who I had a gigantic crush on. I looked forward to going to the class every day just to see her and when she wasn't there it ruined my whole day, and when she talked to me my heart beat so fast and one time she hugged me and I wrote 20 pages in my diary about it!!! When I found out she was straight I got over it (I thought she may be gay/bi for awhile) but it really confirmed things for me!
I was out to my closest friends and my mom, and online people, but I was extremely closeted with everyone else until I got a serious girlfriend at age 23. I officially came out to everyone when I was 24 (I'm 25 now), so it's definitely been such a long process with so much confusion and denial, because I did date a guy for a period of time and I thought I might be bi for awhile - but I think that was wishful thinking since I love attention and I got a lot of attention from guys.
I feel so much happier and more comfortable with myself knowing I'm gay, and I see the stark differences between myself/my experiences growing up and my girlfriend's (who is bi).
Anyway I know that's a lot of rambling that no one has to read but I just thought I'd share my experience and if anyone wants to share theirs that'd be awesome to read <3
Omg you're so cute :( I loved reading this <3 I'm so happy for you - it obviously is a difficult journey for most people especially with so many societal pressures, so I'm glad you were able to see what was in your heart and be yourself <3
(p.s. sorry idk if anything i said was somehow like offensive btw - let me know - you know me and i obviously dont want to be offensive in any way but i know sometimes with certain things i'm sensitive about, certain wording are kinda triggers to me too. also ily)
Kindred7 noooo you never have in any way! you are extremely kind and understanding/open-minded. a lot of straight girls have made ignorant comments which i'm usually very forgiving of, but you've never done anything like that. you're amazing <33
Teddybear okkk i just wanted to make sure - i just know for myself sometimes if i've been through something rough, and people say insensitive things it kinda brings back any bad memories so I didn't want to do that to you or to anyone else (so please just let me know if i ever do say something that may offend anyone). BUT I love that you actually post serious things on this site and like... really important things for people to become more aware of (in addition to just being lighthearted) because I think it helps people relate / understand better - like there are more similarities in your story than differences in anyone else's crushes in life and stuff. People tend to fixate on the differences, and it was just nice reading how your journey has been positive (at least in terms of where you are now) and how you kind of learned to listen to yourself instead of others' expectations. <3
Kindred7 yeah of course! And it is definitely easy to say something without realizing (like if I say something ignorant about anything to you, please let me know as well <3) but I so respect how much you're willing to reflect and how considerate you are. You ask questions about things you haven't heard of and you're so uniquely incredible! but yeah, it's probably not particularly helpful on this site because there's not a lot of wlw (that's the universal term for girls who like girls regardless of the sexuality - women loving women) but I was hoping maybe some of the gay males could share their experiences, which I'm sure are different but through the differences, there's a similarity in the Otherness. it's really easy to attack people and i've heard terms directed at me more than once (like dyke)/i've seen terms directed at gay males too (like f*ggot) but i think it's important to like.. know that someone is not just a GAY male or a LESBIAN woman. they're a person who is shaped by their experiences and using slurs is ignorant and hurtful because of bad memories and stuff it brings back :\ it has more weight than people think.
but yeah, we're all human beings and all connected in the end. thank you so much for saying this <3
hogiebuns ;_; thank you! it does! When I came out on FB, i was met by an overwhelming amount of support. my family and people close to me knew but not everyone/not friends i'd been close with in college and like... i have like only 200 friends on FB legit i never use it and like half of them liked the post anyway LOL. my mom was also so cute because she kept checking it and liking and replying to every comment. anyway it was such an amazing experience for me and i never thought i'd be this happy to be out
