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Big Brother and online Hunger games.

I Wish I Had Never Been Born

Jun 21, 2016 by Tailslover13
Then I wouldn't have to feel the pain I do now. The bump on my cat's back is cancerous, and she has high blood pressure...so something is wrong with her kidneys. One way or another...she's 16, so...I just know...no, I don't want to talk about it. I can't stop crying. My heart hurts. I'm sick. I have never cried so hard in my life. She's not even with me now. She's at the vet's, and will be staying there overnight. I'll have to pay over $400 dollars to have blood work done...and then have the cancerous thing...whatever it's called...removed. But...it doesn't matter. None of it matters. It's only a matter of time. I just...WHY did I have to be given a freaking stupid life to endure this misery and pain?

I don't want to see my three precious dogs that I've had for over half my life die. I don't want to see my cat...whom I've always had since I was 9-years-old...pass away. I don't want to see my mother die, even if she's only 58. I don't want this. I don't WANT to feel this way. Even as I type this...to let people know how I feel, like you even give a shit...I can barely see my screen through my teary eyes. My cat is my everything. She was always there for me all throughout my hardest times in middle school and high school. I wrote about her as the main character in the stories I wrote for school, and people loved them. She follows me around the house and talks to me. She sleeps with me. She jumps on my lap and cuddles with me nonstop. She rolls over and lets me rub her belly. Without her...I just...I don't want to live. I have no purpose to live. Everything I love will always be taken away from me. I have nothing to make me happy, because what makes me happy...is just a farce that will one day be gone. God will take it all away from me. Which is why I wish God had never let me be born.

If I hadn't been born, I wouldn't have to watch all this happen. Have to endure this. I want to just stab myself right now and end it, so that I don't have to know the fate of my cat...and my dogs...and my mom...and just let it end. Let my life be ended so that I don't have to feel these horrific feelings any longer. I hate it all. I hate my life, from the very start to right now.

Why did this have to happen to me? Why do I have to feel this way, when so many others out there couldn't give a shit and they don't care about such things? Why do I have to feel this way? It's all meaningless. My pain is eternal for me to bear until I no longer am.

Comments

Aww i feel bad :(
Sent by Robbster1313,Jun 21, 2016
People literally just had their lives taken from them. Be grateful youre alive.
Sent by Piddu,Jun 21, 2016

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