I just want to tell everyone what went on with me in Stars. I think a lot of people have a false perception of me all because of what Haskova has said about me in the game. Please read the entire thing because it will put alot of the garbage rumors out there to rest.
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I had been wanting to join Stars way back since Stars 32. Check my blog for the proof of that. I was unable to join and the following weeks between Stars 32 and 36 I wasn't home during enrollment so therefore I could not join. I knew I was going to be home for enrollment of Stars 36. So, a few days before I had casually asked a few people if they were interested in joining. Many of them however ended not being able to. So before I joined, the only people I was aware of that were joining was: RObbyROb, farside, and blazeofglory. Everyone else I found out joined when I got there. Robby obviously had friends in the premade alliance which is why he was in it. And since Robby and I are very good friends, he asked if I wanted to join. Of course I said yes. It was my first stars. I wanted to do amazingly well.
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After that I felt like I was an outsider to their group. They all previously knew each other while I had just met them. When the game started going I had agreed to all of the nominations that were pitched and I followed along with them. I did that for multiple reasons. 1. Obviously, I wasn't going up so I didn't care who did as long as it wasn't me. 2. Even if I would change my vote it wouldn't have mattered since there was more of them. They may wonder why I had not contributed to some of the skype talk about nominations. The truth is that I am a shy person so I don't talk very much on skype calls. Most of the game talk I had was only with Robby since I was most comfortable talking to him. And I always feel that if I bring up a name, the person will find out and hate me for it. Especially with how the game was being played with people posted other people's messages. So I stayed quiet. And it didn't matter to me who got nominated. All of the people not in the alliance would've gone up eventually so why did it matter when? So for those who think I only voted the way people told me to vote, I could have easily not done what they told me to do if I didn't agree to it. But again, I didn't care which order people got nominated in.
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Then it got to getting rid of people in the alliance. I had been told of people thinking others would backstab alliance members so of course I agreed to nominate them since they were loose cannons. Then it got to the day when they all decided to nominate Biodork. I am his friend so even though the alliance planned on nominating him, I did not. So there is an instance I didn't vote "how I was told". He went up anyway, which also shows how even if I changed my votes earlier in the game, they would not have mattered.
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Then near the end, Haskova's attempts to have Vessa, Seb, Robby, and I turn on each other did not work. She also said I would be nominated for the next eviction because they would turn on me. It obviously did not happen. That night the 4 of us had a skype call and after that I felt guilty for joining the alliance. I felt like I imposed on everyone and that they felt like they had to keep me safe just so Robby would not get mad. That is what led to my decision to tell the other 3 to nominate me. Haskova's jabber did not have anything to do with it nor did my fear of them backstabbing me. I was tired of playing the game because it had taken it's toll on me. I wanted to take 5th and just be done. But then when I remembered I would be going against Haskova. I wanted to get her evicted so that Robby, Vessa, and Seb would be able to be in a final 3 together since they were a tight knit group.
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Finally, today I was evicted. I was as happy as some of you may have been. I didn't want to take a spot in the final 3 when I knew that the others had deserved it more than I did since they were a true group of friends and I was just the outsider. So good luck to the final 3. I'll be happy to see any of you win :)
