Writing this actually lowkey kills me because of very tiny details and very tiny, small people ready to proclaim "I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!" but whatever fuck em
I was adopted and spoiled by my parents, especially my dad cause I was his ownly daughter and now I'm realizing that is JUST as much of a disability as if I had more hardships in my life and it sucks and i don't know who to be mad at
If you know me, you'd know i was very sheltered and protected by my family and I think part of the reason was because of the big secret of "being adopted" and also just being an extremely sensitive soul who hates and avoids confrontation at all costs
now when i'm becoming an "adult" - first of all, i'm years behind my friends that went to enroll in college. No one believes I am almost 27 years old IRL and I can pretend its a compliment but its not I fucking hate looking/acting like an 18 year old insecure girl who's too sensitive so everyone knows automatically how easy it is to get to me.
anyway it is actaully a disability now. And I've only realized it now and don't know who to be mad at. My parents wanted, and did, give me any and everything I could ever want and protected me from anything harmful but now ..
its like if you dont get vaccinated and then are released into the world full of gross disease and your immune system literally can't even BEGIN to handle it because its going to be so overwhelmed so fast
so I just smoke away my problems, fuck away pain, and drink away regret because what the fuck else am I supposed to do when I actually, literally, feel dead inside?
sorry if this was depressing, I had a bad day and I am pretty drunk and listening to say music
Comments
You seem like a lovely person and I hope you get better but this is Tengaged & not a mental therapy forum.
akeria yes i know this - i use tengaged all the time because i aint stupid enough to post this shit on facebook lol. Tengaged is really the only place I can be honest
and either way I dont really give a shit if people on here judge me for it, or enjoy it, this is a site where you can be kinda anonymous and honest, and although I dont use tengaged for anythign anymore, it is very good for me for ranting/bitching. cause i dont have anything to lose by blogging my personal shit here compared to facebook lol
