righttocensor it’s great like everything she does but she didn’t write this, her writing style is why I love her this doesn’t even make too 100 for me!
SKIT:Indnews
Announcer:This is Indnews! the place where you get the edgiest or saddest news! With your Favorite Sad girl Lana Del Rey!
Lana Del Rey: *Moan sings and then lazily looks at the camera* Oh Hi I'm Lana Del Rey, Del Rey for short, shorter than the life of a sad baby seal in the aqua ocean of her love.
Announcer:.....Ok and here is her Co-Anchor from New Zealand it's the angsty teen dream herself. It's Lorde!
*Lorde claws at the camera and smears her gothic purple lipstick*: I'm Lorde yeah yeah yeah. and Im here doing this as a side job because I'm not one of those white teeth teens.
Announcer: And to Present our Sports and Weather Forecast it's the OG Indie Girl from Iceland, It's Bjork!
Bjork:Hello Ást! I'm Bjork and It is an Honor to be here. Granted I'm shocked I was asked for this job after I attacked a reporter that one time but alas ég er hér!
Announcer:Yeah... *Looks Worried* anyways here they are with the evening news!
*Camera Pans to Lorde and Lana*
Lana:Hello you little venice bitch I'm Lana
Lorde: And I'm Lo-
Lana:And here is your daily news bulletin.
*Lorde Looks annoyed and whispers to the PA* Lorde:First the thumbtack bracelet, and now this? were supposed to be on each others team!
Lana: In the youtube world, Pewdiepie has been found guilty of playing too many *Sings Video Games* and has been sentenced to Nazi Germany in a time portal... Im sure he will love it there.
Lorde:Also in the youtube world there is reports that Jeffree Star lives in a world alone. the world where he's convinced himself he's not a racist scumbag and then earth where everyone else lives!
Lana Del Rey:Also making headlines, Roseanne Barr was found high by the beach tripping on acid. She was detained by police for having drug paraphernalia. as she was being detained she made the following statements "Come on TRUMP! Taste my pussy it tastes like pepsi cola!" and "I thought the bitch was White Hot Forever!" also the name of a single off my new album Chemtrails Over The Country Club coming out whenever I decide it's out you fuckers!
Lana Looks over to Lorde: Sounds like Roseanne will be doing some time huh Mazzy Star knock off.
*Lorde looking annoyed*:In other news Trump has been found guilty of willingly putting the country in danger due to knowing that Covid-19 was a danger to the American people. Bring your own Lampshade Mr. Trump there'll be plenty enough room in Jai-
Lana: My 55 year old drug dealer boyfriend is in Jail rn. He told me before he got locked up that Prison isn't nothing to him as long as I am by his side *Winks and licks her lips* Call me in lock up baby.
Lorde: You know what? I've HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU INTERRUPTING ME! *Starts to dance wildly at Lana*
Lana:GET THIS FREAK OFF ME!
Announcer:OK while that's taken care of here is Bjork with the news!
Bjork!:Hello Kisu! Here is the weather forecast. For the next 5 days there will be nothing but Snow.. Just like my home in Iceland.
Bjork: Now as we look at our little baby Kort we see a cold front coming to America *Bjork then takes her fingers and expands the front* And it's gonna get bigger and bigger and bigger! *Cold front covers up the entire map*
Bjork:With the cold front expect lots and lots of falling ice!. back in my homeland we always try to play a game where we go outside and try to catch the ice in our mouth without breaking our tennur!
Bjork:Also with the cold front will come temperatures of 200 degrees!
The PA's Gasp!
Bjork:Oh I'm sorry ast! I forgot the baby line by the 2! the temperatures will be -200 degrees!
Bjork:Anyways snarf! this is Bjork and make sure to breathe in lots of music!
Announcer:anyways! that's our news today thank you and make sure to always be sad and edgy!
