And I'll tell you something awkwardly mildly kinda sexual I'd do to you ;)
#Minie - I would brush your nipples at a safe distance using a old fashioned broom. #Karim - I would lick your left ear lobe once and watch your two ears go to war. #Phenomanimal - What haven't we done already? ;) ... Jk people, literally all we did was stand outside of a sketchy possibly Chinese? restaurant for like 10 minutes :P ... Now for what I wish I had done at the time ;) ... I would spray you with a super soaker filled with a sticky ambiguous white liquid and let you believe what you want to believe :O #SexGoddx - I would surreptitiously place my open palm on the chair seconds before you sit down, and pretend like you were making a pass at me! #_Teemo_ - We would probably get through all the foreplay, but go no further because you tell me you ate a bunch of tacos and burritos beforehand, and you are a good bottom boy, so you wouldn't allow that to happen! Ironically the wall would keep ME out ;) . Sorry this got gross... moving on! #Funnehliner - We'd have some VERY LOUD roleplaying as I try to replicate german dungeon porn... Then I crack out the bratwurst whip and we both burst out laughing and abandoning the attempt. #Brandt69 - We'd almost kiss, but then I realize we have the same name so I Spartan Kick you off the bridge instead... THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE! #Mexus - I would put a roofie in your drink and watch you sleep and heavily breathe over you until it wears off, then you are free to go. #DakotaCoons - If you get me in to see Hamilton, baby you can have whatever you want! ;) #MelindaMrskk - I would allow you to motorboat my rock hard pecs until you are black and blue, then I'd tell everyone that you fell down the stairs in a tone which suggests that I beat you. #Danny12 - If the 12 represents your age... I WAS NEVER HERE :| #christossss - I would tell you to get on your knees, open your mouth and close your eyes... then I'd probably take the opportunity to put gross stuff in your mouth or smack you around with a non-poisonous snake... it'd be a heat-of-the-moment decision! #m7md26 - I would sit there as you use the cheesiest pick up lines known to man as I act super turned on. Then I would agree to go home with you, but then fake a family emergency leaving you at the bar with the worst case of blue balls. Druhhbby2 - I would serenade you until you cream your panties... but if that's not enough, I mean 3 kids passed through that baby tunnel! The possibilities are endless! ;) Z3US - I would introduce you, the god of thunder, to me, god of seduction through musical theatre cast recordings I own ;) . Thumper91 - I'd probably poke your vagina and say "hehe, ewww it's all squishy!" LemJam6 - I feel like you like being choked, so I'd begin choking you with a scarf... but then we'd both notice that you really look great in that scarf... so then we would stop what we were doing and you'd werk the runway strutting your stuff in that scarf. IceBeast - We'd begin making out, and as you are lost in lust and pleasure... I take out my dagger, plunge it deep into your heart and scream "I SACRIFICE YOU TO THE DARK LORD SATAN!" IYBF - I'd tell you to fuck yourself for flipping in Ultimate Stars and for voting me out in that skype game! LMAO jk. Hmmm, we'd be making out in bed and then I'd say "be right back, I'm gunna shower quickly ;)" ... then I'd come out 5 minutes later fully clothes and I jump on top of you (with a lot of force) screaming "ROADHOUSE!". Then your legs are broken and we have to go to the hospital. Garrievans97 -Things would be getting heated in bed... and then I'd notice a small spider on the ceiling. So I would throw you off the bed. run out of the house screaming... and then set the place on fire! .... Completely rational actions imo! Harry1210 - I would hide in the locker in the gym changeroom and sneak a peak at your junk, then I would steal your underwear and sell it to a creepy guy on craigslist... who is also me. BBLover96 - Well, since you are a bareback lover, I imagine the second I pull out the condom you are outta there! :S Orlando652 - As we are making passionate love, I would be unable to refrain from belting out the "ORLAAAAANDO" line from Book Of Mormon... and that'd probably freak you out and you'd leave :X Galaxies - We'd talk on grindr and you would be sending me fake photos of you. Then when you show up to pick me up for a little "car fun", I open the door, see you look nothing like your photo, sit down, and proceed to give you a talk about how you need to love yourself and accept who you are. And that one day, you'll find someone who loves you for just that (: ... And then I pull out my katana and slice you in two! Delete2544 - I'd be drinking a glass of wine, and then next thing we know a whole 1.5L of red is gone... And I am so drunk I can't get it up. So you leave frustrated and as you are trying to replace me on grindr, you're too into your phone and you don't see the bus coming. But your funeral has A LOT of Mean Girls references, so you are happy as you stare up from hell (: . Bowkane - I lick your nipple and then my tongue looks like a dog brush... so I politely, but firmly, ask you to leave. JetsRock12 - We start making out, and then you start talking about sports ball stuff and I get super turned off. So I tell you I'm going to go run to the LC and grab us some "brewskies" ... but never return. MikeC51 - I invite you over under the pretense that we are going to have sex. But then when you get here, I say we should watch a movie and cuddle. But that's as far as it goes. You leave after you THINK I fall asleep in your arms. I am quite pleased with myself ;) . Kaylabby - I invite you over for some wine and cheese. And we get super gluttonous and wasted and we retire to the bedroom, where we are greeted by BengalBoy ... to be continued :O Petro - We'd be making out, and then you'd say "mmm daddy", and I'd be like NOPE. Bye! Chillum - We'd be having a nice date, and then I would say a super cheesy pun as I often do. You question your life choices and why on earth you ever agreed to this date. When you drop me off at home I say "I had a really great time, maybe we could do it ag-" And you drive off before I can finish my sentence. Juliann - You would come over to surprise me, but I had just finished my night time routine and I reek of tea tree oil. So you run out leaving a trail of tears because your eyes are burning so much :X . Etienne - I would be trying to sound sexy and say something seductive in french... But I'd end up with like pamplemousse or something stupid and you'd walk out on me! LiteCitrus - I am ready to be your first baby! I got a tub of lube and furthermore heavily lubed condoms. Let's do this thing! Then my penis would probably get squeezed so tight and I would lose blood flow and die... But that's not such a bad way to go out! jojo7784 - I feel like we'd be making out and then I do something I weirdly think is cute and quirky like... idk.. lick your eyeball. Then you get all pissed off and storm out :S Arris - We would be getting really into it, and then out of nowhere I get those awful toe cramps! (Anyone else know the feels?) 2Beastly - We would be making out and then I'd let out a huge loud chewbacca noise... and naturally you'd get turned off and leave :X TofuTime - I would probably do a strip tease, use like a water pipe as a pole, and break it in half flooding your basement. temponeptune - We'd be making out, and then I'd bite your lip so hard that it bleeds and I say "Oh jeez, what tastes like metal?" ... and then you bleed out and die :X .
