when everyone was posting the blogs remembering matt64 or whatever, i was among those that were like why are you blogging this, they arent gonna read it, its just wanting attention. but today i found out that one of my best friend's friend killed himself. i didnt know the guy personally. and me and my friend joke about killing ourselves all the time. so did he and his friend. until his friend killed himself on friday. I didnt even know him but he was 18, and my friend showed me a video of him on wednesday of them hanging out and singing and having fun. now i feel dumb for how i felt last week about all the blogs. I feel like not only is it in dedication for the ones that have taken their own lives, but a reminder to everyone that even the happiest of people go through hard shit, and may need someone to talk to. And also a reminder to anyone that is going through it that it will indeed affect a lot of fucking people that they don't even realize. now i feel terrible about how i viewed the blogs from last week. I'm going to make it a personal mission of mine to spread more positivity in the environment around me instead of joking with my friends about how my job makes me want to kill myself. It's not really funny or "relatable". Maybe if I do that then the death of this kid that I didn't even know will have at least the smallest amount of impact on the world.
