thanks for the support everyone :) it means a lot i appreciated waking up and reading all of this
Comments
It’s so hard when college aspirations and talents don’t necessarily turn into successful careers (the same thing happened with me and Acting). It doesn’t mean you aren’t valuable in your skills, it just means the world sucks and was designed so very few people can achieve that level of career success in those fields. So although I’m on a completely different career path than imagined, I still find joy by making Acting a hobby of mine. And finding ways to incorporate creativity into my daily life. Maybe after college you can continue with a local league, ect.
And with relationships don’t beat yourself up. In today’s world finding a loving partner is nearly impossible. This is a great time to focus on yourself and find new interests and ways you’d like to improve yourself. Any person who is capable of self reflection is already a mile ahead of others. You got this!
i love you buddy. you would be greatly missed. i know life is pretty hard and i can relate to this feeling intensely, but one thing i constantly remind myself is the impact it would have on those whose wellbeing and happiness is much more important to me than my own
i think you’re amazing tho. im annoying too and i find pleasure in pissing people off.
i relate to wanting to be excellent and feeling like im not. you just have to take baby steps. i was in a dark place at the beginning of this year and since then ive gotten a new (and surprisingly fulfilling) job, started taking care of myself and just having a positive outlook on the future. not much has really changed but you just have to take one step at a time. you can make yourself into someone you’re proud of
“ Any person who is capable of self reflection is already a mile ahead of others. “
He didn’t lie.
I relate heavily with having no career path sticking out. I’ve learned to not be too hard on myself though bc so many people rush into something they think they are passionate for just to end up unhappy.
I’m still figuring out what I’d want to do but I genuinely believe I’m being led down the right path and that it’s meant to happen this way
I left my job (that I thought was gonna be permanent) last year and I spent the 6 months after in my darkest moments where I was constantly threatened to be taken to the psych ward, almost lost all my friendships and everything and was suicidal to no end (and was going to do it on my birthday but a friend thankfully stopped me).
I bring that up because Its so hard not knowing your future and feeling like the world is on your shoulders to succeed and wanting it more than ever but what i've realized is that we are still very young and we dont need to put ourselves in such a permanent place for the rest of our lives so fast. Its important to just live on the ability to discover more and explore yourself. Same thing for relationships!
Things will come naturally it just takes the clarity and the moment to be away from your expectations. I don't know if any of this helps but I hope it can be something for you to reflect on. I don't know you well but please know you aren't alone in experiencing frustration with the world and i'd always love to talk to you about whatever you want to if you need it. ❤️❤️❤️
i think what carlos said is so important, you may not be able to professionally take up a sport in the big leagues after college but you will always have the small older adult communities of the sports u like and sometimes even gay cliques of these depending on the sport
your love for that hobby should never die out if it's your niche
First and foremost, how you feel is completely valid. As someone with depression who lost both parents at a young age. I often feel like a burden in society and have to work twice as hard as anyone just for a shot at a decent life.
Life is funny because we learn every single day including ourselves. Even when you are 60 you will learn something new about yourself. With the annoyance part, everyone is annoying, but with the right group of people, they will admire and love your personality. How you are can be viewed as trash, but a treasure to others. You can be the BEST human person to ever exist in society and people will still hard you and bring you down. Let people talk because they need to bring people down to lift them up. Let your heart shine bright.
Relationship-wise, I feel that been heartbroken more than 10 times, but that is because I am a misunderstood person you would need someone that understands you and your issues and will value the imperfections that make you amazing and resilient. People just want hookups so it is a generational problem rather than a personal one.
If you want a new friend, I am here for you RLG626#6273 is my discord.
Life is just a perfect storm meant to destroy you. It is fucking tiring to grasp for air in the eye of the storm. These are quotes from the legend of Korra I love and recommend watching:
"When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change" - Aang
Korra: But my powers have limits!
Zaheer: You're wrong, that poison should of killed you, but you were able to fight it off. You say your power has limits, I say it is limitless.
This is really heartbreaking to read. I wanted to start off by saying that I am so sorry you feel this way. I also want you to know that as cliche as it is to say and as annoying it is to hear, things do get better. Please trust the process and give yourself time.
You are worth a lot. You are loved by many. I promise you that you are at a point in your life where decisions are difficult. I can understand the pressure of finding where one fits or what they want to do.. take one step at a time. For now, just focus on yourself and continue doing what you love to do and makes you happy. Something will come out of it
There is so much to live for and many opportunities that will come your way.
I beg you to please seek help if you need it. People care and people will want to help you. Please let them help you.
Just do what makes you happy and fuck everything/everyone else.
And if you don’t know what makes you happy? Do some soul searching. And plz don’t have anyone else involved in this - it should be about you and only you. You’re all that matters.
Sent you a message nicky <3 but please listen to all of the amazing people in these comments , they make so many amazing points, we're all here for you man ❤
there are so many good comments here written with such tact and thought, i almost felt like not commenting but the more positive words, the better.
the concept of validation being fed to us through our achievements is something that happens from a young age, then by the time we are aware of it, it’s already deeply ingrained in us. i can’t say it’s easy to separate yourself from what you think you should have achieved or what you wanted to have out of life post college because more people than you think are grappling with the same sense that where you are isn’t where you think you should be.
i know it’s easy to sit here and say that being pro isn’t the be end all when it’s probably something you envisaged for years but we, as humans, are very adaptable and life changes at such a fast pace that rarely are the problems we faced five years ago are even the same as we face now. navigating a place in this world is something that doesn’t come with any rules but there are already a lot of unfair expectations and that isn’t your fault and your feelings are perfectly valid when we’re in such a time of general uncertainty.
i don’t really know you at all but you wrote out a very vulnerable blog explaining how you are feeling and that takes a lot of guts, so i’m proud of you for that.
in terms of relationships, things happen a lot later for queer people than the straight majority and i think in s time of growing acceptable, it’s easy to forget that but it’s still true. it might take a little longer to find your person but surely that’s better than finding many people who aren’t your person?
i was kind of rambling and there are much more articulate comments that drive home the same message but i hope you don’t stop being vulnerable with how you feel and there are plenty who care about you for you, not who or what you could be and i’m sure if you could see yourself in the same way they see you, then you’d realise that you’ve got so much ahead of you.
Nicky, I'm so sorry you feel this way. I really liked getting to know you on TG and I've always enjoyed chatting with you and playing with you!! I know we haven't talked that much and we haven't talked recently at all, but my DMs are ALWAYS open. I'd love to chat with you about anything <3
Please stay strong, you are a great person and it will all get better!!!!! <3
Not sure what’s gone on but I hope you are ok. It may seem like the biggest thing now but you’re going, it’s never too late to change your path or find the right one for you even if it’s different to what you expected. Believe me I’ve been there.💗
Good vibes to you! Not sure the original blog content but based on comments it appears it may have to do with career and relationships. But do whatever makes you happy. In time, you’ll look back and reflect and I always tell myself that I want to be able to reflect back and know that I put myself first and didn’t do something to please anyone else and that I gave 100% toward whatever it is. Whether that was enough to accomplish what I wanted or not, doesn’t matter. You can only control yourself and what’s in front of you.
And with relationships don’t beat yourself up. In today’s world finding a loving partner is nearly impossible. This is a great time to focus on yourself and find new interests and ways you’d like to improve yourself. Any person who is capable of self reflection is already a mile ahead of others. You got this!