19thMar 14, 2018
- As I am leaving, I do apologize to Crayadian for the fact that I blamed him for almost dying. As I was pretty upset about the incident, he is not to blame for the fact that I went in the car with him. It was my own fault I was too stoned as one can tell I don't smoke often, so we all know a high Gabbie doesn't make the best decisions! He did tell me he was okay enough to drive, but I should have known better. So for THAT I do apologize. I have never experienced such a near death experience, so it was pretty scary but that isn't an excuse.
HOWEVER, this doesn't change the fact that Cory does need help. I wouldn't have been arrested had we been pulled over, Cory would have since it is illegal to drive without your license and to drive high.
This also doesn't change the fact that Rawritsnick filmed me smoking pot without my permission as I asked if he would take it down & he made it private. Another thing is QueenRosalina did tell me Friday night he didn't want to be my friend & didn't want me going to his birthday party, so that's what initially made me upset. Why does he think I still would have wanted to hang out with him when he disliked me so strongly? He texted me the next day asking how I was, but why would I want to hang out with someone who told me they don't like me...and a drug addict for that matter.
And I didn't make this public. Cory has been blogging about his meth usage for months now on tengaged, so it isn't something I just magically made public knowledge. It is something people knew he was struggling with HOWEVER I did not know this prior to meeting him and was shocked when I found out. He told me it was a one time thing (the meth), so I met him again and it was fine, but then I found out it was an addiction after the 3rd meet up. He promised me he wouldn't do it & he kept on doing it. So yes it's my own fault I almost died, but he does need help and I wish he does get the help he needs as one week of not being on meth is not a "cure". Drug addiction is a long process.
The other fact though is all the people coming up with these "hypocrite" blogs from almost a year ago (where the context/wording was not correct) and those taking hits on me are people like Jetsrock12 & Halloween who have ALWAYS hated me. It isn't something like Nick said where "we all agree on something for once" because the two have always attacked me. Cory has made fun of my weight for years since I've been on tengaged when he is no athlete himself either! I have actually lost weight since I've been in FYR Macedonia and you obviously do not know what "fat" is.
Other people have been hating on me for years, so this isn't anything new.
The other thing I will not apologize for is backing up my boo TotalDramaLover1234 IRL. Caleb is a great person inside and out once you get to know him, so I will never apologize for that. And I will most def not apologize for speaking out against racism. I'm sorry, but saying the n word is not humorous. It does not matter the context, but if you wouldn't say the n word to a black person then do not say it to their face..end of fucking story. Estonia has a history of treating their aboriginals horribly, so no racism exists here too of course. I do not want to affiliate myself with those who consider the n-word humorous as it's disgusting given the history of Estonia & FYR Macedonia. I have talked with this problem with my professors and other scholars at uni and they agree how it is unacceptable and there needs to be something said about it. In fact my Stagecraft professor is talking about it to the class this week.
The main reason I am leaving is I do not want to wish to be apart of such a negative community anymore as it's not good for my stress and health. I will be making a new skype and will be leaving shortly. If you have facebook or twitter feel free to add me. Etienne I love you so much and thank you for always being there for me :*
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