This site uses cookies. If you continue to browse the site, we shall assume that you accept the use of cookies.
Big Brother and online Hunger games.

I don’t feel normal (+18, Mature)

1stOct 1, 2022 by NanoNerd
Specifically when it comes to my sex life… mainly because I don’t have one.

I feel like the social norm for most young men my age are that they usually have started masturbating regularly, and that they should have lost their virginity some time in high school… but I never even had a romantic interest in high school.

I’m still a virgin, I don’t masturbate, and I don’t watch porn. I’m not necessarily disgusted by these things, but at the same time I don’t have a desire to try these things either. I don’t think I fully know what being horny is… I have experienced sexual attraction before, but from the way people describe it, sexual attraction is supposed to be a strong urge to commit sexual actions, so strong to the point where it eventually can’t be controlled. But that isn’t the case for me… usually when I’m sexually aroused, I am easily able to think about things that aren’t sexual. It’s never really an “urge” to me. I don’t think I fully understand the concept of being horny.

I say all this now because in 11 days I’m going to be 20 years old. And I still don’t feel like I’m an adult mainly because I don’t participate in adult behaviors… I don’t have sex, masturbate, or watch porn, I don’t drive, I don’t drink or do drugs, and I’ve never had a job.

I still feel like a kid… and maybe I partially am. But I feel like everyone my age is only thinking about sex and drugs, and they can’t really control the fact that they think that way. I don’t know why I’m the exception to this… and I’m actually grateful I don’t think this way… but it makes me feel like a huge outcast from the rest of the world, especially since I can’t find anyone anywhere who can relate to me. I’m only sharing this here because I literally don’t know where else on the internet I feel comfortable talking about this… I just don’t feel like a normal, functioning human being…

Comments

Maybe you’re just asexual. There’s nothing weird, wrong or abnormal by not finding sex appealing OR just simply not having it. Labels are stupid, don’t let it bother you and continue to do you. It makes you a way stronger and independent person to not have to do drugs, have sex or drink to fit in. I was the same way in High School, I would never, ever do something to fit in no matter what people thought about me. Don’t think you’re weird for any of this.
Sent by DaddyDev,Oct 1, 2022
DaddyDev but what’s odd about that is… I think I WANT to fit in. Otherwise I don’t think I would be bothered by this so much. I want people to like me, both in real life and on the internet… and I feel like I try to do whatever I can to fit in… but I don’t ever say or do things that would make me uncomfortable. And it feel like the things that make me uncomfortable are the things that make me an outcast
Sent by NanoNerd,Oct 1, 2022
Don’t want to fit in, it’s disrespectful to yourself. You should be who you wanna be, through and through. Who cares what others say or think about you? It isn’t their concern if you have sex, drink, smoke, drive, etc. If you do any of those things, do it for you. There’s nothing sadder than someone who does things that they don’t want to just to be apart of a crowd. I promise however you feel, however you act, and however your brain operates, there’s people outside that feel the same way. You don’t have to change yourself to fit in, just change who you hang around to fit in where you ACTUALLY belong. And who cares if people like you, I think you’re cool just for not doing what everyone else does. You don’t have to fit in, you stand out all on your own. Are people gonna talk about the group of 6 people who all act the same way or the 1 person who is unique and does his own thing? You’ll figure it out, but definitely don’t do anything you listed for anyone ELSE besides yourself. NanoNerd
Sent by DaddyDev,Oct 1, 2022
The way you’re feeling is absolutely valid. But societal pressure does make you question a lot. If you are not comfortable doing things, then don’t do them. If you feel out of touch with the world, that’s okay. It’s okay to be a little late the party. There is no specific time milestones need to happen. We all have our time to experience the things you mentioned. I know some people in your same situation, but they more see it as labored time. It will happen, just not right now. I won’t go into sexuality bcuz that is for you to speculate on how you identify and what label you present sexually, but give your self Grace in the fact that you go by what your body and minds pace is and what is healthy for you. Ponder that and maybe you can see some growth in yourself. All the best towards your journey. 👍
Sent by ChrisParker13,Oct 1, 2022
+11 pls save me https://tengaged.com/group/10275-owens-reality-games/poll/stars-nom-7th-155984
Sent by SlutishaOMann,Oct 1, 2022
Honestly your sex life is your business and you dont need to feel embarrassed or ashamed if you don't find aspects of sex appealing. I think it is helpful to explore things in a relationship (I'm asexual as well but I do enjoy some things like kissing cuddling etc) but always know and enforce your boundaries if you get uncomfortable.
Sent by PinkFantasy,Oct 1, 2022
You worry about this a lot.
Sent by Thirteen,Oct 1, 2022
As much as you talk about this, this is something you should really talk to a therapist about instead of getting opinions from a bunch of random strangers online.
Sent by LaCroix,Oct 1, 2022
ok this rlly hit. I'm 23 and have had similar feelings in the past. You definitely could be ace or demi but also good to find out if there's other trauma/memories that keep that wall up from all those things from you (or perhaps a strict childhood or parental figure?) Like maybe you find them to be scary or intimidating or shameful? I know there's societal pressure to 'fit in' like you say, but trust me you're not alone and a lot more people don't fit into what we think is normal than you might think!

and even if you eventually find yourself okay with what you do and don't do, the desire to want to fit in is natural imo? so just being patient and finding the people who have similar feelings would be my advice - whether romantic or not.
Sent by JustCrow,Oct 1, 2022
I’m horny as hell 24/7 trust me u it’s not a good thing
Sent by Danger,Oct 1, 2022

Leave a comment