For a while now, I have gone back and forth on whether or not I should speak out because I am well aware that I will be called a liar and be attacked. However, I am now strong enough to handle any kind of backlash for this. On March 8, 2020, I was raped. If you do the math, you will discover that emzthorne was my rapist. For many months after the event, I had been gaslighted to believe that it wasn’t rape. It was minimized and not talked about except for once around a month after it occurred and I brought it up. He said he was embarrassed, didn’t want to talk about it, and that “he just wanted to try new things.” Let me be very clear, when someone shakes their head no and does not open their mouth the first time you try to force your penis in, it means you do not have consent. He laughed at me and told me “c’mon babe” and that is when I opened my mouth because for some reason I felt bad about not engaging in the act. After all, I was staying at his place. What was I supposed to do? Fight him? And then go where?
I am well aware that this is going to be confusing for many people. This is not the person a lot of people know. I sure as hell did not expect my best friend of 4 years and my boyfriend at the time to do this. But the reality is, he did. Additionally, the situation may be difficult to wrap your head around because we admittedly have had consensual sex before. However, facts are facts and any attempt to spin them in a more attractive light is simply misleading.
So why am I speaking up now? I want to be very clear. I did not see the severity of the crime against my body at the time because there was a lot going on in the relationship then. One day prior, I had flown down to spend spring break with him. One day after, I discovered I was cheated on multiple times and was dumped. I stayed in his house for a few days after, hoping that I’d get some sort of apology, but it never happened. I was ignored for two days, only being visited by him once or twice so that I could eat. Otherwise, it was silence as he continued to game and watch YouTube as my life was crumbling before my very eyes one door over. I did nothing wrong, and he would even confirm this. Yet I was treated like a fucking dog. So eventually I booked an early flight home and left.
All I could think about was the betrayal of someone who swore their loyalty to me and had me fly down, having spent all my saved money for the trip, when he knew very well that he had cheated on me. If I had known at the time that I was cheated on only weeks prior to flying down, I would have never gotten back together with him. However, I wasn’t aware of that information until around three months later (the final time I was dumped), as I only knew of a few instances that occurred early on in the relationship. Now I know what you’re thinking, why would someone get back with someone who raped them? Like I said earlier, I didn’t see it as rape at the time and my emotions were all over the place because of everything that had gone on.
To be blunt with everyone, I was very hesitant on releasing this information. I do not think he raped me out of malicious intent, I just think he was horny. I also do not want his reputation for the rest of his life to be ruined because of stupid decisions he made as a 19 year old. This is why I have not gone the legal route with the situation. With that being said, if I feel he is a danger to other people and they too could end up as nothing more than a piece of meat to him, then I will be left with no other choice. I felt obliged to talk at this moment after hearing about his attempts to act as if he is a person of good character and of good morals. He is not. He is far from it. I have lost any and all respect I ever had for him, with a lot of that being caused by matters I’m not going to get into right now. I cut all ties with him months ago and am thrilled to say that he is no longer my issue, he is Noah Klausing’s (the first boy he cheated on me with, who I believe he is now dating). God bless you both.
Remember that time he made a blog making himself seem like the victim of a car accident he caused? Yeah, that was on the way back from a club where he was making out with a boy who wasn’t me while we were in a relationship. That boy was Noah. Max called me at 4am trying to make me feel bad for his damaged car and purposely hid the information that I later got out of him. Soon after, I would be left with a voicemail begging for forgiveness and him in tears after I said I couldn’t be in the relationship anymore. He convinced me he would change and that was a one time thing, shame on me for being such a damn fool. Almost to the exact day a year later, this July, I would cut all ties with him after he told me he could no longer attend a scheduled call because a “sleepover” with the mistress, Noah, came up. Right then and there after being by his side through thick and thin, protecting him for years, I told him to remove any proof of me in his life from his social media because I did not want to be associated with the monster he became and we have not spoken since.
After months of spiraling, losing a significant amount of weight, and very seriously considering suicide, I am finally happy. Never be embarrassed to seek help and never give up on yourself. My dreams are coming true and I have found myself a true group of ride-or-dies. As cliche as it may be, it does get better. Just be patient.
- Brendan, the “crazy, controlling, overly-attached, dramatic as fuck, jealous, bitter” ex
Finally, if you would like to call me a liar, feel free to sue me for defamation of character and I will gladly show up to court. I'm done being vilified and silenced. I purposefully left this off of this website because for some twisted reason, I still see the child in you when we first met years ago who I thought never would have done all this shit to me. Anyways, see y'all around. Take care.
To me this reads as
“My boy friend wanted to do sexual things. I wasn’t really feeling it at the moment but I did it because meh”
Welcome to literally any relationship.
excuse me jinxh and that is when I opened my mouth because for some reason I felt bad about not engaging in the act. After all, I was staying at his place. What was I supposed to do? Fight him? And then go where?
if he still didnt want to not do it, he could have said 'I SAID NO' its not like emzthorne would have kicked him out of his house because mox refused a blowjob. They were dating and were best friends for years before that.
Im sorry that you think it is rape....
but if you are actually accusing someone of rape on a website that has over 1000 people, you might as well make it legal moxii
Anything but a YES means NO. The fact that people are trying to justify that is just inexcusable. I’ve been here before mox and I’m sorry you have to go through it :( I’m always here if you wanna talk
Fetish when im on a grindr date, I dont tell the person that they may enter me now? When I throw my legs up / open my mouth it means Ive given consent. Unless I was forced to do it
The comments are very ignorant. Consent was not given and the act still happened. He shook his head no, and that should have been more than enough for him to stop.
For some people
he said he was embarrassed, didn’t want to talk about it, and that “he just wanted to try new things.” Let me be very clear, when someone shakes their head no and does not open their mouth the first time you try to force your penis in, it means you do not have consent. He laughed at me and told me “c’mon babe”
Consent was very much NOT GIVEN. What was said means that he was trying to get him to do it by playing it off as a joke.
I cannot believe how some of you are acting. It’s truly sad how quick some of you were to try and drag him down. If the words NO are said then it means NO regardless
I mailed you but I just wanted to apologise for my comments earlier since I had no right to insinuate how you felt. The best way to resolve this incident is through the law though.
the comments on this are disgusting, but I don’t know why I’m surprised - this place is a cesspit of shit
he SHOOK HIS HEAD NO
no means no
some of you have clearly never been in this position and it shows, not that you should have to have been to have some compassion, empathy and human decency. as well as a basic knowledge of what consent is.
if someone says no, verbally or non verbally, that means no. persisting and ‘having sex’ with them anyway, even if they stop protesting is not ‘awkward sex’. It’s rape
every single commenter on this blog jumping to conclusions:
we really dont know the ins and outs of this relationship and i don't think it's anyone's place to decide what happened as if we're a literal court. hope you're both doing well and this seems like something y'all should figure out between yourselves, not on the blogs page :/
If this is true, then yes, it sounds very much like rape. If you're pressured to sex or have repeatedly said no and the person still forces you, it's rape. Consent was not given.
Some of these comments make me really sad. In a healthy relationship a person will ask for consent before, during, and after and make sure the person is comfortable. I've been there before and sometimes our body natural response is just to freeze up during it.
I hope you are healing physically and mentally, it's not easy to come to terms with and deal with.
Baby.. you need to let your feelings out somewhere that isn’t here.
These people have nothing to lose so they’ll attack you and discredit your feelings for no other reason but to support their friend or because they don’t give a fuck.
Talk to someone that can help you deal with this trauma ❤️
I am sorry this happened and want to acknowledge it takes a lot of courage to be able to share your story like this. I am glad you have been able to get the help you need and take care of yourself. Enthusiastic consent should always be given period.
I don’t use this site anymore but 2 years ago I commented something idiotic & insensitive with an “innocent until proven guilty” rhetoric and that was very fucked up of me! I believe all victims and apologize to anyone I hurt, specifically moxii, and I take accountability for how out of line my comment was. I should have taken my own advice and stayed out of something I knew literally nothing about. Sending love ❤️
