MichelleObama's blog

The Library of Congress

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ZW**PER RACISM CONFIRMED (NOT CLICKBAIT) Jan 5, 2022: Hello tengaged. Mahogany hired me as a private investigator to investigate whether or not Miss Zw**pita really has had her skin digitally lightened or physically bleached. These are my findings.

sad.

#zw**persowhite; Points: 687 8 comments
ANTM Wii Episode 3) The Girl who Saved the Christmas Shopping Season Dec 26, 2021: So much evil has infected the world since the show last filmed pre-COVID. They say God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors. He must believe us humans to have immense strength the way he delivered this plague onto us. God should know to lower his expectations for his creation. So many have lost their lives during this pandemic. But from the darkness, we emerge into the light. In fashion, they always tell us to find the light. One year later, this holiday season, we have.

I make my re-entry into the top model mansion, although the world has changed, the house has not. There is some comfort in that. During the pandemic, I started a custom-order monogrammed graduation stole business. Frankly, it’s only ever busy for 2 months out of the year. I almost missed the call to return to the competition, as I was deep into preparing for the winter graduation season, but here I am. I have taken some liberty with my look since you last saw me. Inspired by the Saweetie meal at McDonald’s, I dyed my hair ketchup and mustard color.

https://i.imgur.com/TaahXF5.png

It wasn’t long before I had my first reunion with one of the other contestants. It was Katie. Last you saw of us we had a falling out due to Katie believing I was only friends with her for gossip reasons (true). During the interim period, Katie had some less than stellar things to say about me online. Truthfully, the public didn’t care as ANTM hasn’t been popular in over a decade, but as an egomaniac who googles their own name, I did find her posts.

Katie fakely greeted me and told me how her boyfriend left her during lockdown. Katie is a pasta fanatic, and he was upset that all his brand-new Tupperware was left stained orange from leftovers because of Katie not knowing what 2 cups of dry pasta looks like and thus consistently having lots of leftovers.

https://i.imgur.com/9qFqorK.png

I let Katie know that she deserved everything that came to her and that she will be receiving more here in this house. A fight ensued. Katie talks a big game, but ultimately, she is weak. A push, shove, and yank of the hair later she was on the floor. This wasn’t very in-the-Christmas-spirit of me, but someone has to throw hands with Krampus to keep the holiday going.

The girls were told that this week the photoshoot theme was ‘Romantic.’ I’m not very emotionally vulnerable, I’ve never been the first to say ‘I love you,’ but I’ll have to figure out how to get into that headspace if I’m going to convey the theme properly in my photo. Maybe I’ll flirt with Eric the driver, despite his weight gain over the pandemic.

As I arrive in the city to do my shopping for the week, I was told by Jaime that the clothing store had no clothes (a nothing store, a store that sells nothing). I immediately bust through the doors to confront the manager, Erica, about it. She told me they were having supply chain and labor issues. The van that brings the clothes every day hasn’t arrived since the day after Thanksgiving, which is IN MY OPINION, the busiest shopping day of the year. Erica said that if I wanted any clothing, I’d need to work closely with her to procure a van to pick up the lost shipment of clothes. I asked if the limo driver, Eric, would be able to do it, but unfortunately she needed a van, preferably armored.

Since all people with cars know each other, I decided to ask Eric if he knew of anyone with a van. He told me the gardener at the mansion, William, does. We quickly drove back home where I ran to find William. I never noticed him before. I suppose like any good ‘help’ he does his work but is otherwise invisible. I was disappointed that he did not have a van, luckily the other gardener, who happened to be his brother that was also named William, did have a van.

https://i.imgur.com/dfSgKmy.png

I’ve successfully put out the fire, it wasn’t my job but I had to help out my fellow female entrepreneur. I saved her Christmas shopping season.

https://i.imgur.com/lQf3puj.png

As a reward, Erica let me have any item from the collection for free, naturally I went for the most expensive thing that still fit the theme, a luxurious black women’s trench coat dress. She warned me not to tell production or any of the other contestants of what she did, as there could be potential repercussions against the both of us. I agreed and left to get my hair done. Christine dyed my hair black with a choice of red highlights? Not quite sure the look she’s going for, but I know that the girls who complain about their makeovers go home, and I was not about to let that happen to me, especially when I’m already favored by some of the production members.

https://i.imgur.com/x8jHzSF.png

Anyways, the day goes by and I’m awoken by Sarah. She had eavesdropped on Erica and me the day before and was pissed at what went down.

https://i.imgur.com/yPwITpc.png

I told her it was none of her business and to stay mad. She responded with “How dare you talk to me that way?” Now, my usual instinct is to throw hands with anyone who gets in my face, especially since it’s encouraged on the show, but Sarah is someone I see as a likely fan favorite. She is the first ever transracial contestant to ever be on the show, transitioning from black to white over the pandemic period.

I bit my tongue for two seconds, but then realized that since Sarah transitioned over to the most privileged race of all, I can finally call her racial slur. “CRACKER!” I proclaim. And then the fight began. Unfortunately, calling any race of person a racial slur gives them stat buffs in battle, including white people, and thus Sarah kicked my ass.

I went to the kitchen to eat 1 plate of fruit slices and 3 plates of Greek salad to help me recover from my fight and then headed out to the city to see what’s new on Designer St.. Monica quickly pulled me aside in front of the clothing store. She told me famed fashion designer Deborah Declair was inside. Declair? Isn’t that the brand of clothing that Terri MacGregor wore on her iconic cover of fashion magazine More Grrl? I couldn’t believe it. Monica didn’t wanna go in and talk to her since she’s been having trouble transferring her anxiety medication prescription over to the local pharmacy here, so I took my chance.

https://i.imgur.com/WgbiofE.png

I introduced myself and Deborah was pleased, she even asked me to call her Debbie.

https://i.imgur.com/5Qopkls.png

AHHH! It’s amazing someone as successful as her would be so informal with someone like me. She must’ve sensed that I was also a female entrepreneur. She told me she had designed a cute little cocktail dress that she wanted someone to wear on the runway on Friday. She said I had potential and told me to stop by on Friday to pick up the dress. I couldn’t believe it, I was going to be dressed by the woman who once dressed Terri MacGregor.

Until then, I had to work my photoshoot with the inferior clothing I got from Erica. I’m not gonna lie, I struggled a bit coming up with poses for a ‘romantic’ photo. It’s just not really my thing. I’ve been let down so many times and have become guarded. I’m often afraid to show who I really am to those I am interested in out of fear that they will not like me beyond the surface level. The photographer told me to imagine the camera as my lover, and that just made me more anxious. Ultimately, I think I got a high fashion photo, but was it romantic? I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.

Eventually, Friday rolls around. It’s time to walk the runway in a Declair original. I met with Debbie at Erica’s shop where she gave the sexiest little pink cocktail dress.

I’m glad I shaved above the knee yesterday, cause this dress leaves little to the imagination. I guess that also means if I walk even the slightest bit bow-legged, Victoria the host will see. I got my make-up applied and stood in the line-up. Victoria pulled me aside for a second just to tell me how stunning I looked in the Declair.

https://i.imgur.com/m1NqYMP.png

Exactly the confidence boost I needed just before the catwalk, which I fucking annihilated. I’m feeling confident headed into this call out.

FIRST PHOTO….. Hannah
SECOND PHOTO…. Nicole
THIRD PHOTO …. Barbara
FOURTH PHOTO …. Mel (guess my photoshoot wasn’t up to par :/)
FIFTH PHOTO …. Sarah
*I silently whisper “what a honky” into Nicole’s ear, we laugh*
SIXTH PHOTO …. Monica (glad her mental health wasn’t a detriment to her this week)
SEVENTH PHOTO ….. Jaime

The bottom 2 is Heather and Katie. I haven’t really talked much with Heather since our return, but she was a good friend to me back during our initial filming days. Meanwhile Katie has proven to be an unprofessional gossip, despite having a beautiful face and chic bowl-cut. My desires here are obvious. Will Santa give me what I want most for Christmas this year?
The EIGHTH and FINAL PHOTO.
.
.
.
..
.
.
Heather.

I don’t remember much after that. All I remember is running to hug Heather. The sounds of a children’s choir began to fill my ears. Hark! The herald angel that is Victoria has sung on this Holy Night and has given me the greatest gift of all……JUSTICE AT LAST

“Hark! the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King
Peace on earth, and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled
Joyful, all ye nations, rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With th' angelic host proclaim
Christ is born in Bethlehem
Har, the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King”

Merry Christmas

highnoon
mahogany
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austinrules6969
yaxha
konohavillage1
insanity
mikec51
howlovely
@princevans
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BenjaminB
christian_; Points: 371 24 comments
pyn for some words about you Dec 4, 2021: while I wait for and ride this bus

maxi1234 - a lil bit manic. u seem like ur having fun. sweet. enjoyable. friend?

slice - png's. beautiful png's heir to the gatorade and ikea empires

boneworks - the crazy race is soooooo crazzzzzzzzyyyyyy love her. dont know u much outside of that

yaxha - i have died every day waiting for u 👁️🦆👁️

kindred7 - nice. somewhat of an acquaintence from way back when. your presence does not offend me

jenii_valenta - you're ok, can't say i have many experiences with u outside of voting for u to win the original gemma bb. lb being ur fave hair color is correct; Points: 232 14 comments
nenalala thinks Dec 1, 2021: shes in her Reputation era, but she's really in her I Will Drop My Song If This Tweet Gets 100,000 Retweets era; Points: 818 12 comments
shes coming Nov 12, 2021: Points: 419 13 comments
Everyone's begging for pics of the Ultimate Bunny Party Oct 3, 2021: I'm sorry, but it was a closed event where our cell phones were collected at the door. NO PHOTOS. You had to be there; Points: 120 6 comments

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MichelleObama's blog

The Library of Congress

12345...25 Posts 146 posts

1 2 3 4 5...25
Posts 146 posts