from Stering_Butter's and I's new TV Show: Haute Couture Cops.
*return from commercial break. Thomas and Sterling stand around Jennifer's Gucci bag that she claims is fake. If Thomas and Sterling prove Jennifer's claim to be true, the Haute Couture Cops will have the website Jennifer purchased the bag from (realdiscountgucciandprada) shut down. a moderate speed drum solo plays in the background*
Thomas: Sterling what does the thermostat read?
Sterling: Room temperature is 69° F
*Sterling and Thomas laugh*
Jennifer (in a frustrated tone): THIS ISNT FUNNY, I CANT SHOW UP TO MY WILHELMINA MODELING AUDITION WITH A FAKE GUCCI BAG.
*untucked noise plays as the camera pans to Sterling and Thomas looking at Jennifer. Camera then pans to Jennifer sobbing heavily*
Jennifer (only somewhat understandable while sobbing and breathing heavy): Its my first modeling job. All my sisters were childhood models, but I wasnt because I was an ugly child and nobody wanted me for any commercials. But the Lord is kind to those who are patient, and oh was puberty kind to me. I was finally able to land an audition, but I couldnt afford a nice bag to complete my look, and the website told me that even though the price for the bag was marked down so much, it was still real. i just wanted to be couture.
*Jennifer returns to sobbing. Sterling wipes a single tear away. Thomas also lets a single tear flow*
Sterling (choked up): Okay Thomas, no more jokes, we have to do this
Thomas (sniffles before speaking): Youre right. Ok, hand me the rectal thermometer.
Sterling: Here you go
*Sterling hands Thomas the thermometer. Thomas drops it into the bag, then zips the bag shut. 5 minutes go by, but due to TV editing it seems like 5 seconds*
Sterling: Now time for the moment of truth.
*The Biggest Loser Weigh-In music plays as Sterling.opens the bag and brings the thermometer just close enough to his face to read it. He gasps*
Sterling: Oh my Gawdt.
*Sterling hands Thomas the thermometer. Thomas gives a surprised look*
Thomas: Lord
Jennifer: What What what????
Sterling: Jennifer, your Gucci bag is.........
*Multiple shots of everyone's faces and the bag appear. As Sterling is about to reveal the diagnosis, a loud booming noise stops him and the show cuts to commercial*
