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You don't won, expect the unexpected.

Posts 1689 posts

OOOOOHHH IM PIIISSSEDDDD Nov 4, 2019
i have had my fucking braces for oVER TWO YEARS! AND NOT ONCE HAVE I EVER DAMAGED A BRACKET OR BROKEN ONE OR ***ANYTHING*** LIKE ITS BEEN ***SPOT ON PERFECT*** but OF COURSE when i have literally 13 fucking days left until i get them taken off forever i bREAK A FUCKING BRACKET EATING NONE OTHER THAN PIZZA, IT WASNT EVEN THE CRUST IT WAS SOFT ASS PIZZA LIKE WHAT?
Points: 25 4 comments
Hey👋, Nov 3, 2019
if you’re under⬇️ the age of 25, PLEASE🙏, get the fuck ❌out of here👉, now😤. I’ve grown beyond sick🤢 of your goddamn👿 garbage🗑 culture. (“Buy my nudes💦”, “I’m a witch🧙‍♀️”, “I’m so kinky⛓”, “*****”[even though you’re white👩🏼], “sex💋 work is work👷‍♂️”, the made up words🦄, the fucking anime🧝‍♂️/waifu💍 crap💩, the lack of facts🙅‍♀️, fucking all of it😠.) You’re all literally🤭 the same person👯‍♀️, over😶 and over😶 and over😶. Thousands👀 of mindless🧠 fucking idiots💥, endlessly repeating🗣 one another🙄. No original thoughts🤐, style👗, music🎼, art🎨, nothing⭕️. You are simply✅ the worst‼️ people👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 this planet🌍 has ever had the misfortune🔮 of harbouring👀. I don’t care🙅‍♀️ about any of your bullshit🐂, so don’t bother🛑 commenting with your uninformed🌝, SJW✨, misspelled nonsense😬. Just fuck off🖕. Thanks😘.

*If you’re over 25🔝, and you do any of those things🤦‍♀️, you can go too👌. Also💭, if you have your job👩‍🚒 listed as “Krusty Krab🦀”, or whatever the fuck it is🚶‍♀️... Grow up👩‍🦳, you stupid little twat👶.
Points: 15 3 comments
This❌ is your last ⏳ chance Oct 31, 2019
to but a nut 🥜🌰 before No ❌Nut🥜 November🗓 😤🤤 So you better get your tissues 🧻 and your lotion 🧴 because this will be the last 🤚 until Destroy 🔥 Dick🍆 December 🥴 so get your phone charged⚡️ and your cum 🥛 rags🏳️‍🌈 ready because you need to bust the FATTEST 😰 nut ever recorded 📝 in existence it’s your last⌛️ chance 🤡 so cum with me brother 👬 and lets pound 🤜✊🤛 till we empty our NUTsacks 💼 then you can clean 🧼 up and watch ScOoBy DoO 🐕
Points: 25 0 comments
Axis Member Shuffle Oct 31, 2019
* All:*

The allied forces have asked us to,

Disclose our Axis war crimes to you

We were bad, but now we lost

We’re sorry for causing the Holocaust

We have provide our unrestricted

records after we were convicted

We’re not here, to start more trouble

We’re legally required to do the axis member shuffle

*Mussolini:*

I'm Mussolini and I'll refrain,

from invading my neighboring countries again.

What I did was not too kind,

but I'm a nice guy you'll come to find.

I got a nice country and a villa in Rome.

Yall should come over for a bottle of coke.

We could make some Pizza, as a postwar mender.

But do keep in mind that I'm an Axis member.

*Hirohito:*

Hirohito is my name,

my Pearl Harbour bombing is what brought me fame.

But there's much more to know about me,

I love to commit atrocities.

I shoot and slash right through Nanjing,

just grab my sword and watch me swing.

But I can't rape until December,

till then I'm just an Axis member

*Hitler:*

Adolf Hitler, dropping rhymes.

I've been denounced 70 times.

I know that sounds like a lot,

but 3 of those times were for invading Poland.

I feel real bad, that I lost.

Might shoot myself, probably not.

I'm not here to make pretenses,

I'm here for my war crime defences.

*Vidkun Quisling:*

I'm Vidkun Quisling, I'm number one!

Not apologizing for what I've done

In case you're wondering what that was

I snuck into parliament and...

[Static]

...Cause no trouble, I'm just here to do the axis member shuffle

*Eva Braun:*

Hey everybody, it's Eva Braun.

Proving girls can too be Krauts.

And by that i mean be a fascist.

Wasn't worth it. Now i'm ashes.

You won't find me trying to fix this blunder,

cause i commited suicide in Hitler's bunker.

I'm not here, to cause a Holocaust.

I am here because the Axis powers lost.

*Ante Pavelic:*

Last name Pavelic, first name Ante.

I'm moving in somewhere in South America

Not as a croatian, but a hidden man

If you want to kill me, you likely can

The last thing i want is any trouble

I've learned my lesson from the Axis Member Shuffle

*Werner von Braun:*

I'm the man they call Werner von Braun

They Said that I didn't have to show my face

America took me for my technology

If it doesn't work they will unblur me

I'm not the war criminal Werner von Braun

That was a different Werner von Braun

I'm not here to be my own defender

I'm here because I'm possibly an Axis member

*Risto Ryti:*

Okay real quick I am not like these people. I only temporarily align with them to fight off the Soviets, who are the only witnesses, and they were trying to take Karelia and...

(Guard approaches with shotgun)

I'm not here to pack my duffle, I'm just here to do the axis member shuffle...

*All:*

The allied forces have asked us to,

Disclose our Axis war crimes to you

We were bad, but now we lost

We’re sorry for causing the Holocaust

We have provide our unrestricted

records after we were convicted

We’re not here, to start more trouble

We’re legally required to do the axis member shuffle
Points: 0 0 comments
No title Oct 31, 2019
Look for the gummy bear album in stores on November 13th.
Points: 0 0 comments
LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th. Oct 29, 2019
LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th.LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th.LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th.LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th.LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th.LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th.LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th.LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th.LOOK FOR THE GUMMY BEAR ALBUM IN STORES ON NOVEMBER 13th. Retard
Points: 0 1 comments