then about this lil fella's size/age broke out of a locked, fenced yard. Naked. I went inside to grab drinks, came outside and there are the sibling and two cousins... and an empty diaper.
"Where is your brother/cousin!?" I yelled.
Them nutters looked at me like I asked about the weather and said, "Him? Oh, he left."
HE "LEFT".
Which apparently is young kid speak for tear off one's diaper, scale a fence, unlock and unlatch a gate and then flee into the sunset as they all sat there observing and chewing cud. They seemed flummoxed when I suggested that perhaps they should have fucking stopped him?
We found him in the pine tree out front. The neighbours were fanning out to search when the tree giggled. It took ten minutes and a pair of oven mitts to de-tree him. It took two days to get the sap off.
