Coca Cola is known as Coca Cola because it is named after the company's founder, Cola McColaface. When on his deathbed due to his Type 2 Diabetes & crippling cocaine addiction, Cola's last wish was for his children, Coca McColaFace and Coke McColaface, to drain his diabetic blood, dye it brown, carbonate it, and sell it in bottles and cans. His children followed this wish. To this day, the majority of the population does not know the secret formula to making Coca-Cola. In reality, the formula is actually rather simple! Simply take a diabetic's blood and pee in it while severely dehydrated. The combination of the two fluids will cause a chemical reaction, and high fructose corn syrup will form. Adding artifical coloring is not necessary, but most people would prefer that you do so. Carbonation will also need tp be preferred, the best method of doing so is having Michael Carbonaro masturbate into your drink. And v贸ila! Your overly sugary, rust-removing beverage has been completed. Now go sell that shit for millions of dollars, you filthy capitalist!