wouldn’t sit in his seat and told his mom “This movie is horrible!”
I sat there stunned. Was he right? Was this movie horrible? Was I blinded by Nostalgia? I collapsed in my seat. The room felt hot and I began to convulse. Everything I ever knew was a lie. Then, I had a realization.
Fuck that kid. This was the best goddamn movie I’ve seen in years. It was absolutely fucking delightful and that little uncultured fuck needs to sit the hell down. I stood up in my seat and turned around.
I yelled “Oh this movie is horrible? I’d love to know why. The narrative may have seemed simple at first, but it quickly turned into an intricate plot and took some risks I never thought a modern movie would. The color grading was to die for. The cinematography has never been so careful in a movie before. A lot of work went into every scene- no every shot- and I guess it was all a waste because you think it’s horrible. Sit the hell down and let me enjoy my goddamn paper movie.”
The kid had tears welling in his eyes. His mother said nothing because she knew I was right and was trying to work up the courage to say the same thing to him. The theater erupted into cheers and I said “Now, now, let’s enjoy the cinema.”
