After quite a tumultuous couple of weeks, i will be stepping down as moderator and leaving Tengaged *gasp*
I joined this site when i was literally 12 years old, and never did i think that it would have an impact on me in the way which it did. This blog isn't going to be something i expect anyone to really care about or read, it's just something for me to leave as my final words on this site.
As i said, i joined when i was SO YOUNG. I am now 22, a grown adult, and my love for this place is still the same as it was when i was a prepubescent Big Brother-obsessed nerd when i first joined.
The friendships i made over the years, the games that i played and the lessons that i learned, i'm all grateful for. I spent my entire early teenage years on this website RELIGIOUSLY, and the experiences that i've had here have definitely shaped the person that i am today. The friendships i built here i will hold true to my heart, and the people i have met have helped me through some of the most challenging parts of my life, including losing loved ones and coming out to my parents as gay, so for that i am truly grateful. I know that may sound dramatic as fuck and so over the top, but it's true.
When i started college, i wasn't as active as i used to be. I had my future to focus on and so that took priority. Whilst my inactivity meant i didn't keep up with the latest Tengaged gossip and scandals and all that bullshit, i still popped in from time to time to see how this place was doing. Now, having just graduated college and applied to med school, i thought i'd come back and try and enjoy the site in the way that i used to, in this weird period of time that i have off away from school. It was then when i made the blog about what i felt Tengaged needed to do in order to revitalise itself and get itself back to the fun and enjoyable site that it once was. One thing led to another, rando ended up asking me to help moderate, and so i accepted, having the truest intentions of working as hard as a i could to help better this place.
My mistake. I didn't realise how toxic and odd this place had become. From the minute rando gave me powers, i was attacked, i had people telling me to die, people calling me the F word, people calling me a pedo, people threatening to find out where i live... and this was all before i had even banned a SINGLE person. What in the fuck...
I tried to be lenient, civil and professional. I published the rules (that rando and CheapCheep are using to moderate with) DAYS in advance of mod powers coming into effect, but people STILL broke the rules. So i banned them. And then people got mad that they were getting banned... when they were literally told what the rules were... strange behaviour i must say. I tried SO HARD to remain professional and do the fucking job that i was ASKED to do, yet the abuse carried on rolling in.
So i gave up trying to be nice, because nobody was granting me the same courtesy. So i thought fuck it, i'll just speak the truth. I started calling people out for their hypocrisy... and then got told i wasn't being professional 😂 Well you know what? I tried that... and it still led to me being attacked. I was doomed if i did and doomed if i didn't. That's why moderation HAS NOT and NEVER WILL work on this website, even though i honestly do wish Cheap the best of luck.
To the people that supported me and actively tried to help get this site back on its feet, thank you, i appreciate you. To the old, decrepit, man-child users that have been here since the beginning and still haven't done fuck all with your sad sorry lives, who are the exact same people that have cried out for moderation but bullied every mod there ever has been... i pity you. I pity your existence, i pity your drive to achieve nothing in life except fame and clout on an online big brother website. Carry on whining, and bitching, and being outraged at the sun the moon and the stars, you're going nowhere in life sweetie.
And so with that, it is quite clear that this website will never return to the state it used to be. It's infested with psychotic men who act like they're 12, pedophiles, racists and homophobes. Why on EARTH anyone would want to stay here is beyond me, and that's a crying shame, because i would do anything to go back to this site, say 5/6 years ago. The community was THRIVING, games were fun and competitive, the blogs page was active, Skype Games were the fucking bomb and this place really had a lot going for itself. Not anymore. Its had the fun sucked out of it so ferociously, leaving nothing but toxicity and and performers that are so desperate for attention, so as to compensate for the lack of it in their own personal lives, probably due to the fact that they're socially incompetent and ugly individuals, externally and internally.
So with that being said, I have no desire to remain in a place infested with freaks and grown men pretending to be girls, and whiney adults that cry and get outraged every 5 minutes because their hormones are fucked up. No ma'am miss Pam, that ain't for me lmaooo, so I will be asking CheapCheep to perm me. I'm about to fully start my adult life, as a SUCCESSFUL individual, which is something some of you will NEVER have the pleasure of doing.
