Today marks a year since I lost Nathan. I don't come on here much, but it felt like the right place to talk about him. I miss him so much. I text him every once in a while, because then it feels like I can still share my stories with him. This year has been so incredibly hard, and I'd give anything to have him by my side. This loss hit me so differently than any loss I've dealt with before, and if I'm honest I probably still haven't processed it. But I told him I'd keep fighting for us both, and I will. I'm reminded of him so often, just out in the world someone will say something or I'll use one of his stupid insults or some other line he'd always say. It's nice to still have that piece of him with me. He made me stronger, he taught me to not give a fuck about what people think. He loved me for me and I will forever be grateful for everything he did for me. Matedog1209 I love you, I miss you, and I promise I'll never forget you <3
I didn't think I was going to come on here and talk about this, but I took some time and realized that it could be good for me. Matedog1209 was a very good friend of mine, and I'm having a really hard time processing that he's gone. We would spend hours on calls playing games, talking shit, and just enjoying each others company. We were always the last two on a group call. I am very lucky to have a friend as good as Nathan. Whether it be boy drama or org drama, he stood by me through absolutely everything. We fought battles hand in hand and never let the other deal with something alone. Nathan, I don't know how I'm going to fight without you. But I promise you that I'll never stop fighting. I promise you that I will keep your memory alive. I promise you that I won't forget you and everything you did for me. I know much you loved me and cared about me, and it doesn't make this any easier. You always told me that we were the most hated dynamic duo in the community. You told me that the community wasn't ready for us to meet up. I'll never get that. I'll never get that picture of us, I'll never get to hug you and laugh with you. I am forever grateful for the time I got with you. I am forever grateful that you took a chance on me, that you learned and loved the real me, when it felt like no one else did. We understood each other in a way that no one else got us. We knew what it was like to be bullied and attacked for speaking up. As you put it, we were "those bitches." I don't know what I'm going to do without you. It's going to be really hard. But I'll never stop fighting. Never stop fighting for you, and fighting for us. You taught me so much, and I could never thank you enough. I love you so much Nathan. Until I see you again <3
Hey lovelies, I'm nommed for ninth. Honestly, I expected it. Most of these people aren't really even playing, and my name has been going around since 14th when they took out my girl Grace. This is my first stars and I'm having a blast playing, it's just not my time to go yet.
