For the last 5 years people on this site used remarks like “closet case” as a way to attack me during fights or always tried to blast my sexuality. It never really phased me except for the odd times, but yah, I’m Bisexual. I never really liked being open about it and always denied everything because it’s not acceptable in my irl bubble (given I’m a Muslim Arab), and I’d be putting myself in a really serious potentially dangerous situation if my family ever found out. So, it just felt right & safe to keep it to myself and not tell online or irl people for many years of my life.
I’ve done A LOT of self reflecting in the last 3-4 months. After being hit by a car recently, it sunk in how short life really is and I’ve been wasting my life away hiding a part of me that I cannot control. I don’t want to regret it when it’s too late. So I opened up to very few close friends here who helped me find a place of acceptance with myself. So now I am READY to be open about this side of me to an online platform. It’s been 13 years fighting these constant battles with my mind alone to reach this point.
I have a long way to go irl for obvious reasons. I still don’t see much hope regarding telling my family or irl friends, but I’m at least happy with myself now to be open with online people.
End of the day though, please STOP being invasive if people clearly don’t want to be open about their sexuality. Sometimes things going on irl force them to stay in the closet.
PS: I know I come off as a troll on this site at times and sometimes people don’t take me seriously, but this blog is 100% legit and it’s just a way for me to hopefully build the confidence to come out irl.
So much Love, Tengaged. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for this site and the amazing people I’ve met.
