With 2017 coming to a close, I figured it’s time to yet again put together a list of shit I’ve learned since the New Year of 2017. Every year that I’ve been active on New Year’s Eve I’ve done this as a way to pay tribute to the year I’d just lived through and maybe use some of that knowledge to apply for the New Year. This year in particular I actually didn’t enjoy too much, especially once the summer came around, so forgive in advance if I sound whiny here with these, but they were what I ended up learning in 2017 nonetheless.
- One super big thing I’d forgotten was how hard moving really could be. At the beginning of the year, I moved from one place to another. Still can’t seem to get my life on track, but hey! We’re making progress? Probably not lol
- Being a frat president really isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. You can’t please everyone who’s in your frat, and once I gave up presidency in June and didn’t come back to Tengaged until August, it was a real wake-up call as to who my friends really were. During that time, I had also given up having charities for both my 200th game AS WELL AS a charity game to celebrate my 5 years on this website, putting myself through quite a bit of guilt and shame in the process. In fact, I was scared to come back UNTIL August because I didn’t know who would welcome me back! There had even been a point in time where I really thought of never going back to begin with, and even in the first few weeks after I came back, I still questioned whether or not it was the right move.
- Speaking of, I’ve also learned a big part of myself through my own guilt: when I feel guilty for what I have or haven’t done, I find I need to be alone in solitude. It also gave me a wake-up call as to how low my self-esteem really is simply because I can never bring myself to believe I am a good person, and that… scares me. It’s best not to go into why because I really want to leave the shame I’d felt in 2017 and not bring it into 2018.
- And while we’re still in the same spirit, just because you log off of Tengaged does not mean your life automatically changes for the better. In fact, if you’ve felt like you’ve really hurt someone, staying away can actually make you feel even worse offline! Happiness does not grow on trees, after all! In this particular lesson, even if you try to find happiness, you’re not always going to find it.
- This segues onto my next point. I have noticed that even when I try to go and meet new people in real life, I find that although I might enjoy doing so once, it’s not the same as it was when I was in high school for one big reason: you can try to find the good people in your life, but sooner or later you’re going to realize that everyone are like clothes in that they come and go. No good person ever truly stays in my own life, and so I end up asking myself if there really is a point in trying to “get a life”. What I end up answering is by asking myself: is it really worth if when in the end it all turns to dust?
- When you have something you have worked hard towards, there will always be someone who wants to take it away from you. It’s how this life works, and considering there’s many of us here who will do anything for that extra Karma or what have you, the reality increases tenfold.
- Tengaged has really gone down the shitter, but it’s not all Tengaged that has made the year a disappointment. Real life away from the website has a huge role as well, and so before any mouth-breathers here decide to tell me to get a life, it’s no better! That is why for 2018, my New Year’s Resolution is to learn how to bring positivity back into my life so that maybe I’m not beating myself down for every single thing I do and so that I can finally feel like I’m me again. I am sick and tired of all the negativity I get just because I make honest mistakes and I am for sure tired of blaming myself to the breaking point for the same reason.
- People on Tengaged will become obsessed with you over the stupidest things. For example, say you’re helping out a Frookies charity and then a group of people come in to ruin the charity and evict the charity holder. You win the following HOH and know who for sure came in to ruin, so you put them up once. Understandable, right? Well… not for some people! Not only did I get called fat amongst other insults periodically by them over the course of the next few months, I could be minding my own business and STILL be attacked verbally by them. Give my fucking head a shake!
- Similarly, and this one is very recent, apparently all that it takes to be accused of something is to call out the accuser, no matter how into the right you are or how far in the wrong they are. You could be defending someone else, but once you decide to be the knight in shining armor, you’re the fucking devil, and I can safely say this because I have taken the role of the knight a few times throughout the year. Anyway, for now all I will say anymore on the matter is this.
NEWSFLASH TENGAGED: JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE CALLS YOU OUT OR TAKES A STAND DOES NOT MEAN THEY DESERVE TO BE ACCUSED TO SHIT! IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE AN ACCUSER, THEN MAKE SURE YOU CAN BACK IT UP WITH PROOF! OTHERWISE, YOU CAN SHUT THE FLYING FUCK UP!
- On a more positive note, after spending my month of November writing a novel, I realize that those who write blog series really get underappreciated on this website. They spend time out of their own lives to write satisfying episodes for those who sign up for blog series, and a lot of times, we just end up ignoring it, even if we have characters in those series. This leads on to my next topic…
- When you write something, you should always work on it every day. Otherwise, you risk losing your inspiration. Now, with blog series, you also need support from your fan base to keep on going, but even when you write, you need something to keep you pushing towards your goals, and that’s where writing every day comes in. By doing so, you’re keeping your draft alive.
And thankfully that does it for another fucking year. Again, sorry for all the negative things I just said about 2017. Yes, 2017 gave me a lot to learn, and no, I don’t care if you neg this or think this is too long to read because every year until I am out of this website for good, I will continue to do the same thing every New Year’s Eve I am on Tengaged. Hopefully for 2018 we can learn how to grow positivity towards one another, and maybe for 2018 I can learn to forgive myself for the simple things in life.
+13
“ I am sick and tired of all the negativity I get just because I make honest mistakes and I am for sure tired of blaming myself to the breaking point for the same reason. “
This is my favorite part
