Big Brother and online Hunger games.
Icarus_Mark

Icarus_Mark's blogBlog

  1. Regarding
  2. Paige's blog asking who the first TV Star got me..
  3. Good
  4. I hope he's doing okay :/
  5. I can just imagine this happening
  6. If you wanna watch porn
  7. Why am I being asked
  8. On a much lighter note
  9. Good RIDDANCE
  10. I know it's 4 months later
  11. HOW ARE DEAD PEOPLE ABLE TO ATTACK IN HUNGER!? ..
  12. So how do youact .ike when you're drunl
  13. Okay this is not worth getting drunk for
  14. It's not even 15 inutes into y drinking game
  15. Preparing to test out my "drinking game..
  16. Okay, is Starmie's charity safe or no?
  17. Real Talk
  18. When you totally forget Canada has Thanksgiving..
  19. I don't know why but
  20. Okay, it's kind of sickening
  21. Honestly didn't think I'd make it this far
  22. I swear
  23. Nah
  24. The fuck is going on in this game? O_O
  25. Anyone wanna donate?
  26. Just got back from 'It'
  27. I've had serious doubts before
  28. It's always sad to hear about these shootings
  29. Yep, it's that idiot again
  30. Wait, I think I know who this is
  31. Ugh @ that GameStop commercial on ESPN
  32. Pattern Reveal for the Numbers PYN that expired
  33. Random PYN
  34. Thanks to the one person who bet on me! lol
  35. When Wikipedia can't do math
  36. I pay about 0 attention to hockey
  37. As much as I would have hated to admit it back..
  38. Lemme guess
  39. Go for it
  40. Welp

I think I've learned something awful about myself tonight

Sep 20, 2017 by Icarus_Mark
It feels a lot like I fuck up all the time, but most of it I learn to live with.  But what I've really noticed is that whenever I know I royally fucked up, I tend to try to get as far from the where and the how I've fucked up as I can get.  I try and figure out what I can do or where I can go to help me deal with myself because it's the only way I know how to deal with what I've done that isn't self-injurious.  I don't give a second thought as to who might be worried about me until I am well away from my mistakes because I always feel that at first, no one will even care that I'd be gone.  And it never seems to matter what I might be getting myself into afterwards as long as I am trying to cool down.  I could be walking for hours on end during the middle of the night, and it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference.

Maybe later I'll regret I made this blog, but for now, fuck it.  I know I am far from perfect.  Hell, I wouldn't even call myself a good person half the time, and I know my mind isn't always in the right place at the right time.  But this is just the way I deal with myself when I am at my worst.

Comments

<3 don't hate yourself you're amazing
Sent by Macda27,Sep 20, 2017
Ditto. We are human and that's all we can be. I am starting to face my mistakes and my demons. I've realised a lot about myself recently. Point is you are awesome for having such a big heart and being able to be brutally honest with yourself. 😊
Sent by Yoshitomi,Sep 20, 2017
As long as that works for you...and you always come back! ❤
Sent by TaraG,Sep 20, 2017
the fact that you feel so much guilt about past fuck ups proves you're a good guy. try not to stress yourself out about that stuff, everyone fucks up sometimes
Sent by BengalBoy,Sep 20, 2017

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