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Icarus_Mark

Icarus_Mark's blogBlog

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I think I've learned something awful about myself tonight

Sep 20, 2017 by Icarus_Mark
It feels a lot like I fuck up all the time, but most of it I learn to live with.  But what I've really noticed is that whenever I know I royally fucked up, I tend to try to get as far from the where and the how I've fucked up as I can get.  I try and figure out what I can do or where I can go to help me deal with myself because it's the only way I know how to deal with what I've done that isn't self-injurious.  I don't give a second thought as to who might be worried about me until I am well away from my mistakes because I always feel that at first, no one will even care that I'd be gone.  And it never seems to matter what I might be getting myself into afterwards as long as I am trying to cool down.  I could be walking for hours on end during the middle of the night, and it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference.

Maybe later I'll regret I made this blog, but for now, fuck it.  I know I am far from perfect.  Hell, I wouldn't even call myself a good person half the time, and I know my mind isn't always in the right place at the right time.  But this is just the way I deal with myself when I am at my worst.

Comments

<3 don't hate yourself you're amazing
Sent by Macda27,Sep 20, 2017
Ditto. We are human and that's all we can be. I am starting to face my mistakes and my demons. I've realised a lot about myself recently. Point is you are awesome for having such a big heart and being able to be brutally honest with yourself. 😊
Sent by Yoshitomi,Sep 20, 2017
As long as that works for you...and you always come back! ❤
Sent by TaraG,Sep 20, 2017
the fact that you feel so much guilt about past fuck ups proves you're a good guy. try not to stress yourself out about that stuff, everyone fucks up sometimes
Sent by BengalBoy,Sep 20, 2017

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