Big Brother and online Hunger games.

Icarus_Mark's blogBlog

  1. Possible Top 10 List
  2. Pretty dumb response
  3. Deleted my entire mailbox
  4. Oh for God's sake
  5. To the person who keeps backnegging my blogs
  6. Welp
  7. Well, if anyone wants to watch the net neutrality..
  8. Just sent in my voice
  9. This is a thing now
  10. So
  11. Let's be fair
  12. My Spotify 2017
  13. When you print your ticket for the new Star Wars..
  14. I've been seeing stuff about "hq" or..
  15. Discussing Disney Fan Theories: Snow White's..
  16. One Killer Assessment
  17. Me @ a Blood Level going back and negging my..
  19. Kudos!
  20. Do people still remember me
  21. One Killer Thoughts + Personal Happenings
  22. I really wasn't going to log in again for a while
  23. Happy Thanksgiving to all!
  24. Well this certainly is something to behold!
  25. Switching to a different topic
  26. Obsession at it's absolute finest
  27. Okay, as someone who's dealt with autism
  28. If your avi is drowning in water for Halloween
  29. My avi looks like
  30. How is being straight on a fucking website
  31. Oh dear! Had a bit of a scare for a minute
  32. Well finally something somewhat useful
  33. Today
  34. There's few songs I call lazy
  35. This rain is the worst
  36. Kind of defeats the purpose of stopping negative..
  37. Alright, let's try this "How Well Do You Know..
  38. Okay, why am I still being asked
  39. Never heard of the Zombie Frappucino before today
  40. Okay, seriously, what is y'all's problem with me?

I think I've learned something awful about myself tonight

Sep 20, 2017 by Icarus_Mark
It feels a lot like I fuck up all the time, but most of it I learn to live with.  But what I've really noticed is that whenever I know I royally fucked up, I tend to try to get as far from the where and the how I've fucked up as I can get.  I try and figure out what I can do or where I can go to help me deal with myself because it's the only way I know how to deal with what I've done that isn't self-injurious.  I don't give a second thought as to who might be worried about me until I am well away from my mistakes because I always feel that at first, no one will even care that I'd be gone.  And it never seems to matter what I might be getting myself into afterwards as long as I am trying to cool down.  I could be walking for hours on end during the middle of the night, and it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference.

Maybe later I'll regret I made this blog, but for now, fuck it.  I know I am far from perfect.  Hell, I wouldn't even call myself a good person half the time, and I know my mind isn't always in the right place at the right time.  But this is just the way I deal with myself when I am at my worst.


<3 don't hate yourself you're amazing
Sent by Macda27,Sep 20, 2017
Ditto. We are human and that's all we can be. I am starting to face my mistakes and my demons. I've realised a lot about myself recently. Point is you are awesome for having such a big heart and being able to be brutally honest with yourself. 😊
Sent by Yoshitomi,Sep 20, 2017
As long as that works for you...and you always come back! ❤
Sent by TaraG,Sep 20, 2017
the fact that you feel so much guilt about past fuck ups proves you're a good guy. try not to stress yourself out about that stuff, everyone fucks up sometimes
Sent by BengalBoy,Sep 20, 2017

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