So, I've been without power for about 10 days due to Hurricane Sandy and the follow-up Noreaster. #firstworldproblems#overusedhashtag#sodesperateforinternetthatimusinghashtags. While I had no major personal epiphany, a few things have been reassured in my mind, and a few things that I had little to no opinion on have been swayed. In celebration of my internet addiction relapse, here it goes!
Warning: TLDR material.
1. Smartphones; not as advertised -- "Smart"phones are indeed quite fucking stupid. Not only does the battery drain faster than a premature ejaculators package or sokerdude7 when Ciara's "1, 2 Step" plays, but in the middle of a crisis, they are extremely unreliable. I had to resort to putting my sim-card in my old piece of shit (or what I thought was a piece of shit until now), and only then was I able to get some sort of phone service to get in contact with those that I needed to. Over the days, my smartphone did start to work again, but during the actual rough part of the storm, it was absolute shit. Not that I plan on giving mine up, where else can I watch porn on the go? Still, they're shit.
2. Laughter can help you through some of the roughest moments, but it doesn't resolve power outages -- Laughing my way through the most awkward and shitty moments of my life is my go-to move, and I sure as hell tried to rely on it through these circumstances. Whether it was constantly telling my family that my imaginary friend at the electric company was going to put in a word with supervisors to get us turned on quickly, my imaginary ex girl-friend at the laundromat (seriously, took 4 days to find one that was open) that was going to do our laundry for free, the call-backs that I allegedly received from the electric company saying we've been restored while we were out on the road -- it brought me immense pleasure, but it didn't turn the electricity back on. Pro-tip: Singing "Lights" by Ellie Goulding, "All Of The Lights" and "Power" by Kanye, and any other song relating to anything with light or power, is highly amusing and will drive others going through the same problem insane.
3. Coloring books are NOT just for children -- To those of you who think that you are too mature or above coloring, go fuck yourselves. It's a true art that very few will ever be lucky enough to master. Sadly, even with 24 years of coloring experience, I'm still not there. I have set a personal goal to master it before the next time Mother Nature bestows me with her presence (hopefully not for a long fucking time). As a side-note, our very own sokerdude7 is an award winning colorer, and before he realized he liked men and hated children, was going to name his first-born Crayola.
4. 90's music is only fun when you're in the mood for it -- As a lover of the 90's, and especially the music, it deeply pains me to even say this... but there is a certain point where it becomes too much. Thanks to (or no thanks to, in this case) piracy, I have not purchased many CD's over the years. My collection consists of mainly 90's-early 2000's hip hop and R&B, and while it is certainly my favorite genre, sometimes you just can't be bumpin' to the oldies all day long. Perhaps it's time for me to put my hatred for Apple aside and invest in an iPod (yeah, no). I can only assume this was my punishment for not yet purchasing Kendrick Lamar's "Good Kid, M.a.a.a.d City."
5. Thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife, or some shit, but what about her husband? -- I've lived where I'm currently at for over a year now, and I've ignored my neighbors. Even at my old residence, I was never comfortable with getting close to my neighbors, it's just felt awkward to me. Over the span of 10 or so days, I've actually started having conversations with them that consisted of more than just smiling and nodding with them, and they're actually some very quality people. Most especially, one of them that is extremely good looking (and I don't think he knows it, which makes it so much hotter), funny, helpful, and just a generally good guy. His one glaring flaw is that he undoubtedly likes vagina, but it's all good. He asked me to hang out once the power got back on, so I can only assume that he's trying to initiate a three-some with me and his wife. #sokerdudementality. I don't foresee myself hanging out with any of them in the future (but perhaps the hottie), but it's nice to know that I'm among some good and helpful people.
6. Chainsaw-like sounds are calming to me -- I'm a very light sleeper and it takes very ideal sleeping situations for me to pass out. Ideal sleeping situation for me = loud blasting television with something mildly boring playing, so that I'm not too interested in it, but am distracted enough to not lay there thinking too much and driving myself insane, and also to drown out unwanted noises as I get my ~beauty~ rest. For the first few nights I had an extremely hard time getting to sleep with all of the shit going on and the eerie silence. When my hunchback (yes, I find it necessary to point this out) neighbor got a generator, I vowed to strangle him in his sleep. Little did I know, that the horribly unpleasant sound of a power generator is an adequate short-term replacement for a TV. For the one night that it worked (it broke), I had my only night of sound sleep for the duration of it all. Time to invest in a chainsaw.
7. Price gouging IRL is slightly worse than Tengaged shops -- Case of water? $19.99! Not even any sucky-sucky with that water, either. Might as well throw in some Walker hair for ONLY an extra 1000T's! Cops actually threatened to shut a lot of places down due to the price gouging, so good on them. Just ridiculous to know that in time of need, people try to capitalize on peoples misfortunes instead of trying to help.
8. True Life: I'm Addicted To The Internet & I Don't Give A Fuck -- Although I did have intermittent access to it once my phone started working (poorly), it still wasn't enough to fulfill my needs. I'd imagine it would be like being trapped on a deserted island with only a vagina -- okay to have it just to sustain life, but nothing I have any interest in doing in any other circumstance. Along with the lack of current music, this was like my second trip back to the 90's -- it was like dial-up nodding out on heroin... like randomize forgot to renew the server... I couldn't even get on AOL to update my LiveJournal! Painful. That said, I will be immersing myself back into the internet with full force, we have a lot of catching up to do.
9. It's the small things -- Among many things I'm used to, oddly, one of the things that bothered me the most was the lack of a bathroom fan. The only switch that I repeatedly tried to turn on despite the obvious fact that it wasn't going to work was in the bathroom. I've never been really bladder shy, but taking a piss while hearing others talk was TRAUMATIZING. I turned into one of those people that need to run water constantly to get it flowing, and even at that, it was difficult. I will never take that shit (not literal shit, but that wasn't fun either) for granted again.
10. When family fails you, you can count on random people from the internet -- This is something that I was already very sure of, but it was 100% reaffirmed to me over these days. Many people that went through this evacuated to the homes of family members, and we really didn't have that option. My family members that don't reside with me are as self absorbed as they come, even the ones that weren't effected by this stuff at all didn't have the courtesy to help us out. Though they couldn't take me in or anything like that, THANK YOU SO MUCH to the following people that checked in with me or were in contact with me throughout this time to help ease my mind: Illyriaa, sokerdude7, 2008girl, TolisKalkas, DiNoM, FlameOnX, coolndcomfy (seriously, thank you), RonRon313, Sassy003, HeyItsMaggee. Sorry if I forgot anyone, bitch me out below if you checked in on me. Even to those of you listed above that I wasn't in extremely close contact with throughout this time, I appreciate you even checking up on me to make sure I was alright, it brightened my days to know that you gave a shit about my well-being. To those that are skeptical about internet friends in general, you really just need to weed through the trash and find the good ones.
My 10 days without electric is nothing in comparison to what others went through due to this or in comparison to what people in other countries live through on a daily basis. I know people who lost homes, and much more importantly loved ones due to this storm. That said, it was an extremely rough time for me. I lost some insulin (that shit is a lot more expensive than you'd think if it's not covered by insurance, which we weren't sure if it was when it was lost), plenty of income and money spent on food, and almost (debatably) my sanity. With all of that, I'm grateful to still have my life and a roof over my head that is my own. I'm not looking for a top blog, I wrote most of this during the times where I felt like crawling out of my skin to get things out, and also to show appreciation for those that showed concern for me and to give them some insight into what went on during it. I sympathize greatly for anyone who was effected by the hurricane, and I urge anyone that is in the position to help out (you know, people that have a shit load of money to spend on T's), to help out.
PS: Fuck you to whoever is in my area that keeps pinging the same cell towers as me and giving me a red-nose, which delayed me posting this for two days.
Ugh ily so much, imma just make comments about each of your lil points cause you NEVER blog + I'm in procrastination mode. But basically, thanks for blogging. This was a good read....and your next blog should be an hot tottie update.
1) I agree! I just got a smartphone back in July & I hate having to charge my phone more often....and I really don't get internet or service everywhere at home. THe coverage sucked more while I was at my Grannys...so I can't imagine having it during a Hurricane and snowstorm. but SMDH at you watching porn on the go, you foolish.
2) LOL...I agree. Laughter doesn't cure the problem, but it's like you laugh to keep from crying (which is why I pop on tumblr or youtube inbetween GRE studying, its depressing). Everyone goes through mess & laughter makes it easier to deal.... and you come out stronger at the end.
3) sokerdude7 is a good color-er cuz his fav color is blue. So he can color oceans, rivers, lakes and ponds really well...oh and all them blue shirts he has of course. But yes, I'll still get the kid coloring book at the restaurant if the wait is long :P
4)Agree as well bout 90s music! It's my fav era of music as well(BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS). I got some pop songs/ rap & hip-hop and baby making music that I listen to depending on my mood, or if its my time of the month. But I'll never listen to Country music or Taylor Swift, hate that trick music wise.
Oh, um if you haven't listened to the new Kendrick then that last comment on my mail reply prob seems real creepy to you, please disregard.
And buy an ipod even though it's annoying how they always come out with a model with new perks. They at least do the Ios updates, the latest one changed the appearance of my ipod completely among other little things. Not too bad.
5) Smdh, you HAVE been around John TOO MUCH. Before you know it, every pic of a man you see on tumblr will have you in bonercity. But that's really cool bout the neighbor thing cause you'd think that neighborly love is a thing of the past. But our last neighbor was really nice to my Mom and I and restored our hope in society and stuff. So I feel you, except I didnt want to have sex with her!!!
6) LOL, I love this. I'm sorry the power disrupted your usual sleeping conditions, but how funny that you found new sounds to love.
7) That's really stupid, but doesn't surprise me. I think about the looting going on during Hurricane Katrina aftermath. -_-
8)Haha :P. Welcome back to civilization Crumbhead. I'd also hate being stuck on a desert island with only a vagina. Penis ftw.
9) Yeah! I always felt awkward taking a dump in the community bathroom in my dorm for that same reason if someone else was in there, cause the toilets were right next to the sinks. Who wants to hear or smell that shit when you're brushing your teeth or washing your face. And then I remembered people did that to me all the time (and left bloody tampons in the toilet, or didnt even flush the toilet) and proceeded to drop my kids at the pool. Your welcome for the TMI.
10) Whatever, Neg. :*
11) I'm really glad that you are safe and that your home is still intact and your close fam is okay. I got too creeped out when I saw footage of went down on the Jersey Shore on TV. Still praying that everyone up North stays strong with everything going on, and that Mother Nature takes it easy on yall. Maybe they can give the South a foot of snow....then you can watch us go crazy (even though an inch or two of snow would do the trick ;) )
I am so happy that you are safe. And after all that you have been thru, you still take the time to recognize other people who are still struggling out there. Looking forward to having our talks of wisdom once again!
I stopped when I got the shoutouts and I was like somehow left out over somebody who didnt even say they missed you from completely unedited conversation!
LOL my roommate and I also sang all of the lights by Kanye when the power was out.
I am so sorry that you are jealous of my color skills. Haters gon hate.
You ruined this blog as soon as you mentioned walker hair.
