so another year is coming to an end, I reflect on my life and my past years as I always do almost every year.
It is interesting to say that Tengaged was big part of my early young years. I struggled with social phobia through my all life, so when I started to study university, It came back and it came back big. That was when I spent my life on Tengaged for almost 2 years. It was by far the biggest part of my life. Some will say I am a loser, and I think I was. However, Tengaged made me feel there was whole another world and lifes around the world which made me feel secure and safe in some way.
This site took a lot from me but also taught me some things. Acceptance and seeing people having similar struggles made me feel I was not alone. I started to accept myself and the relationships I made contributed that which I am so thankful for. I still wish I spent those years in more productive way but everything happens for a reason I believe. No regrets.
If I have to say though, my only regret is, I did not continued the friendships I made. I had 5-6 close friends on this site but they all fade away. Even though they were online friendships, they meant something to me and still do. For example, I wonder what Emmaleigh and his brother Alex are up to. What is Godrik who was so so nice to me doing nowadays? Ruli, my first Tengaged friend, does he have the happiness he deserves in his life? Brittney, is he happy and still so careless? :D. Last but not least tymu888. I miss that guy. I tried to reach out to him but felt like he was giving me cold shoulder so I stopped. Those people, I really love but no idea what they are doing.They were my friends when I had 0 in my real life. I guess It is just too late for that now. I have myself to blame, because of my insecureness,I wasn't really opening up to them so I guess It left bittersweet taste in their mouths. There are hundreds of other people I somehow know and since they are older now I wonder what they are up to. If someone wants to catch up, I am always open to that..
I wish great people on this site did not leave. I am also very inactive but checking once in 4-5 days probably because out of habit lol.
Anyway, I guess thats it. Idk why I did this but oh well. Happy early new year. Don't ever forget that you are not alone in your struggles, world does have so much to give, you just need to be strong, fight and pay some prize. I still have my struggles but not one day I've given up hope that world is indeed a good place overall and as long as you breath, there is always next and better day :) #casting
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If I have to say though, my only regret is, I did not continued the friendships I made. I had 5-6 close friends on this site but they all fade away. Even though they were online friendships, they meant something to me and still do.
T