ORG's used to be fun environments where people of all ages, locations, religious beliefs, social beliefs, and ethnic backgrounds could get together for friendly competition without any real malice attached. Nowadays, however, those competitions have gotten way too personal and people are doing very despicable things to each other simply for the sake of gameplay. It's sad that people are willing to get so personal and ugly for the sake of winning petty games. Even if money is involved, people turn into bigots, ableists, homophobes, and condescending, manipulative little jerks simply so they can have a meaningless victory and bragging rights that are attached to winning games. I semi-retired and played a few games since, but even that has lost its appeal.
I can give you three very disgusting examples of what I mean by what I have shared so y'all know I am not just screwing around or wanting attention.
1) In the last ORG I was voted out of, the entire cast or a good majority of the cast didn't know how to react to my social disability and so they either openly hated me or pretended I didn't exist. I tried to stand up for myself and was labelled a bully by EVERYONE, including Production, while the actual bullies were allowed to get away with personally attacking everything about me.
2) In a Big Brother-style ORG I am currently in, one of the other players had some serious personal issues that they ended up confiding in the current Head of Household about because the HoH was professionally qualified to handle it. The person also confided in me and I shared with the Production and was told to keep details to myself. I thought all would be well, but I was shocked and disgusted to learn that the HoH nominated me and this struggling person, basically using the things shared in confidence as reasons why they were nominated! This HoH actually pretended to care about someone's personal situation and then use it against them for the sake of their own gameplay. That sort of thing is disgusting and immoral; I cannot believe that such behavior is actually allowed in ORG's. It reminds me of when Missy Byrd and Elizabeth Biesel lied about Dan Spilo being inappropriate to them during Survivor 39 just to further their own gameplay!
3) After I was nominated in the same org I discussed in instance 2, I wanted to know why I was nominated and so I asked around. This one person, who knows that I have a social disability like everyone else in the cast does, says that some of the things I say and do were annoying enough that the entire House voted for me to be nominated. Nobody told me this beforehand and I cannot read minds, so this took me completely by surprise and was very hurtful. The person basically told me that I was nominated because people would rather see me go away instead of looking within themselves and trying to learn patience, understanding, compassion, and every other emotion that should be given to those with social disabilities. I sincerely wish people had told me that having patience with me was too difficult. I might have been less outgoing in my attempts to be social and friendly and I also wish people weren't afraid to explain things to me because I might have trouble understanding how to become better.
I guess a fourth one is realizing that people in the org I already mentioned set up an elaborate plot to make a mockery of my caring nature by lying about a situation, knowing that I'd react with my heart and make myself look like a fool by trying to be helpful. The person I was nominated with made it seem like they were having a problem and 'confided' in me about this issue. I got upset in defense of this person, making myself seem like an idiot and a monster in front of everyone else and my defense of my fellow nominee resulted in me being evicted from the game. As I was waiting for this eviction, I noticed that my fellow nominee seemed to be doing better and it made me realize that the whole situation had been a setup. I am heartbroken that I've been used and exploited so badly by others I thought I could trust for the sake of furthering their games.
I'm honestly getting tired of these games and I don't know what to do about how I feel. First and foremost, can I get some hugs and love from y'all?
