I came into ORGs back in 2008 because I was looking for a way to cope with how hard life was and I was also looking for a way to make some friends. I am also a person who has two disabilities: ADHD and Non-Verbal Learning Disorder (which is on the autism spectrum) and that makes socializing of any kind a challenge. People in general don't know much or anything about handling or interacting with someone like me, so they simply don't do it. I have a lot to learn socially, but people don't get that; they would rather openly mock me or ghost me rather than deal with my weirdness.
I'm not damaged goods and I play ORG's to show people that people like me are human, we have emotions and capabilities just like everyone else, but we just need a little help to deal with life. It hurts when I do something wrong socially and people would rather socially isolate and/or ghost me instead of explaining what I did wrong. I have trust issues from being hated on and ghosted so much and I wish people would show some compassion and try to help me become better. I play ORG's so I can teach people that I am not a scary, undesirable person and I wish I was doing a better job of it, but I feel like I am failing.
I use ORG's as a teaching tool, but I don't think I am a very good teacher. I don't think people have the patience that they should with me in my struggles; I would have patience with them if the situation was reversed. ORG's are supposed to be games and they are supposed to be fun, I have seen the true characters of people I thought to be friends emerge in ORG's simply over what happens in them. There is life after ORG's and people seem to forget that and trash me day and night or they ghost me into oblivion.
During the time that I have been an ORGer, the people I played in games with have repeatedly attacked many personal things about me along with my social struggles. I'm ghosted and doormatted so repeatedly that I feel like it's better to not share anything about myself with anyone I play ORG's with. I mean, who can I really trust to be genuine about what I share and not use it against me or see it as a reason to ghost me?
I'm tired, sad, and I need hugs and compassion...is anyone there?
