This site uses cookies. If you continue to browse the site, we shall assume that you accept the use of cookies.
Big Brother and online Hunger games.

Suicidal Thoughts

Apr 2, 2021 by BrainJak
!!TRIGGER WARNING!!! I am in a much better place in my life, so I feel okay sharing this. Don’t make me regret it, please.

Hi Tengaged! It’s been a while. I haven’t posted in forever, but today someone pissed me off with some more claims of being Suicidal in an effort to get some attention. As someone who works in the Medical Field, and someone who has had Suicidal thoughts since I was 16 years old, I want to explain what its like in the mind of someone who has these. This is a HUGE fucking step for me, as only two people IN THE WORLD know I have them.

Anyway, here are some facts about Suicidal thoughts that you (and people who claim to be Suicidal) probably don’t know.

#1 - You will never know we have them until its too late, or we are in a better place.

This is the biggest point in which people who have suicidal thoughts judge the legitimacy of other claims. If you have someone in your life who is constantly depressed (and constantly tries to let you know that) and claims they’re suicidal, that is bullshit. You are only going to be told in one of two scenarios. Either by the doctor after they found the body, or by the person once they have reached a point in their life that they can finally accept what’s going on, and have started fighting it. People who use it to Garner attention, or as a bargaining chip, are not truly suicidal.

#2 - There is no “Attempting” Suicide multiple times.

There are so many people I see coming through the emergency room who fake suicide attempts to get attention from people they were angry that. Most of them have “attempted” numerous times. I have heard three physicians tell them to their face “if you were really trying you would be dead right now. You don’t mess up this many times.” Some people act like that is a horrible thing to say. It’s not. Do you know why? Because there is a plan, which leads to the next point.

#3 - There is usually a plan.

While I do admit there are many people who are suddenly and helplessly crushed by depression who don’t plan out their suicides, I can assure you, most of us have a plan. Why you may ask? Because (A) we want to make sure that the deed is done. (B) we want to make sure someone finds us. And (C), some of us want to make a statement with our deaths.

#4 - Suicidal thoughts are not dependent on the day you’re having.

Most people who fake suicidal thoughts do so when they’re having a bad day. This just makes sense. I’m going to tell you right now that that is not the reality you think it is. You could be having the best day of your life happy as could be, and suddenly you see a knife or a bridge or a window and you think about ending it all out of nowhere. It is almost like having another person inside your head and it is the most terrifying sensation because for a moment, for a split moment, you cannot help think of the relief that it would bring.

#5 - We try to fight it in others before we try to fight it ourselves.

A lot of the people I’ve dealt with (who I do believe ARE Suicidal as they claim), have been the people who smile the brightest, laugh the loudest, and are in everybody’s corner. We don’t want you to be depressed because of us, and we don’t want you to feel alone or helpless. We know those emotions well, and we don’t want the people we love to suffer with them.

End.

If you read this, thank you so much. If you struggle with Suicidal thoughts, please reach out to someone. Like I said, prior to today only TWO people in the world knew about mine. I am in a MUCH better place in my life right now, and while I don’t think I have BEATEN depression, I definitely feel stronger than I did before. Thank you again.

P.S. If you wanna argue, take it somewhere else.

Leave a comment