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Big Brother and online Hunger games.

What i did Last Summer

Mar 4, 2019 by Brad13535
So i have been struggling with Anxiety all my life as it's hereditary from my mom's side. I never knew what i was feeling was indeed anxiety until last summer when shit hit the fan when i landed in the Psych Ward because of it:

It all started around the end of March last year when I started not able to sleep very well and my anxiety was through the roof. Eventually it caused me to go numb with my feelings and started getting depressed which got worse for the next few months. Finally at the end of June i decided i wanted to end it all by taking a bunch of pills to end it all. However i didnt know these pills would have any effect at all to try hurting yourself as they were ZZZquil, an over the counter drug. i skipped work that day and laid in bed waiting for it to happen. I decided to try to speed it up by drinking a bunch of straight Tequila in which i finished the whole bottle. didnt work however made me seriously drunk (im not a drinker btw). My mpm came home and noticed my pupils dialated and that i was slurring so she told me to go shower, eat and get some sleep and that we will talk about it the next day.

I didnt wanna face her after that so the next day after work i decided to just disappear. Ended up disappearing for 5 days. everyone was looking for me, i was even on the news about it. My brother finally found me in a parking lot, not long till my Dad and step mom showed up and got me an ambulance and brought me to the nearest hospital. We sat waiting for like 30 hours until a Psychiatrist saw me. I pretended i didnt really remember anything. told them i took a few ZZZquil just before i took off. (didnt want to tell anyone about the 22 pills i took the day before i took off). i figured it was easier to say that as its easier to explain than to say i was totally in my right mind to go disappear. Psychiatrist prescribed me pills for anxiety.

after getting out i took those pills and had to go see a psychiatrist a couple times. after a week we ended up going camping as i didnt want to end up by myself for fear of what might happen. gradually while camping the pills were fucking me up a little more and more. my concentration/attention span were just shot. couldnt really focus on anything for long. eventually i ended up having a mental breakdown crying in the middle of the camping site, thinking my mom was dying as she had a broken leg so with my anxiety (which i didnt really feel but was happening anyways as i was numb to it) happened anyways making me think this way which made me extremely paranoid as well.

Eventually we finally went home and the next day they made me think we were finally taking my mom to the hospital when really they were taking me. There i spent the first week in bed not wanting to talk to anyone or even want to open my eyes half the time. I never even showered for a whole week. after that week i got better and started walking around and i eventually met a couple people. did some things with them like go for walks and played cards as it gets srsly boring in there. The doctors prescribed me with different meds which didnt truly take into effect until like 2 months later.

Now that im on these meds i feel better than i ever have my whole life! Im alot more confident,social and i dont have a bunch of thoughts in my head at once. My thoughts are a little more organized and can think alot more clearly :). also those people that i met in the hospital are now my roomates. i finally was able to move out without being too anxious!

For those of you with Depression and Anxiety you are not alone! theres more people out there with your condition than you think. you just gotta reach out and dont let your negative thoughts control you :)

Comments

Wow Brad. I'm so glad things are getting better now, I am always here for you if you ever need someone. You are not alone ever! Super happy you are improving and hope you continue to do so
Sent by Bambino,Mar 4, 2019
Very inspirational <3 Love this and good on ya!
Sent by immaxyman,Mar 4, 2019
Awww Brad im so sorrry you were struggling :( But I am soooo happy to hear that things are going muchhh better for you <3 Your suchhh a kind person.. So glad your backkk :) And I am always always here for you if you everrrr need to talk xoox
Sent by tiffanox3,Mar 4, 2019
<3
Sent by Saftronbtr999,Mar 4, 2019

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