9thOct 27, 2017
Ever since you PM-ed me two months ago to insult me and demand I leave this site and dump your brother, I've been wanting to give you a piece of my mind. I kept quiet all this time because I didn't want to disrespect you (although I should've, since it appears that disrespect is one language you speak fluently). For two months I've kept quiet, feeling guilty and responsible for everything that's happened. But today I decided that I've had enough. I'm done with the guilt. I'm tired of carrying the weight of this relationship on my shoulders.
We (as in you and I) met in 2015 on Tengaged, two years before I started dating your brother. You were good friends with some of my friends, like Patrick319. You'd spend hours gossiping with them about celebs and other tengagers. In the beginning, I would leave Skype chats and leave you two alone so you could talk freely, and because I didn't like to read about personal stuff on Skype. But after Gaiaphagee told you that I could be trusted, you started to tell me that I could stay and listen to your stories. I had never heard someone talk so much trash about their own alliances.
After a while, you started talking to me one on one. At first it was all about makeup. You were selling Avon on the side and we both liked to try out new eyeliners and nail polish.
Then one day you caught me reading a book at work, and you started telling me about your brother Christian_, who also liked to read. You said it'd be nice to meet him because we were both book lovers. I said "OK", but in reality I wasn't interested.
Then you started showing me pictures of Christian. According to you, he was very handsome. I didn't see it. He was too skinny. He looked sick. Turns out, he was sick. You asked me if I thought he was cute. I lied and said "Mhm".
And then you started talking about church. Ugh! About the Youth Group'so activities. About the songs your brother composed for church. About what a great drummer he was. About how much I'd enjoy going. Funny. I never said anything about being a religious person.
When I finally decided to visit your church so that you would get off my case, you introduced me to Christian. He wasn't skinny anymore. He was letting his hair grow. He looked like an alpaca, but he definitely wasn't the handsome man you thought he was. And at four years my junior, he was too young for me.
Then you started inviting me to lunch with your family after church. Or to the movies with the Youth Group. When I finally said yes to lunch, you told Christian to go in my car. My first thought was, "Poor Christian, stuck with me in my car. He must be bored out of his mind." He never once talked to me while I drove to the restaurants. Later, when we were dating, he admitted that he loved being in the car alone with me because he liked me from the first time he met me.
Then you requested my friendship on Tengaged. A week later, Christian_ requested my friendship on Tengaged, and started PMing me and gifting me shitty gemma weaves. Then he started sending me private messages asking me to plus designs. Then he sent me his phone number. After a while, I gave him mine. And he started texting me. And that'she when you started to freak out. And I mean REALLY FREAK OUT. You stopped me at work and demanded to know what was going on with your brother. You said you didn't know the kind of person I was. You questioned my intentions. You wanted me to stop talking to him. I told you it was your brother who was interested in me, and that if you wanted us (as in him and me) to stop talking, you had to talk to him, not me.
Your brother kept texting me and calling me. Then we went out on a date. We took a photo of the two of us and he posted it on Facebook. And you FREAKED OUT. Then we went out to the movies. Then he kissed me. And you FREAKED OUT. Then I met your whole family. Your sisters and nieces sat me down and questioned me until they got tired of digging for dirt I didn't have. They decided I was good enough. They all did. Except you.
Then we had sex. Then he started spending the night at my place. And you FREAKED OUT! You sat me down and listed all the reasons why we couldn't have sex:
1. He was a Christian (Like Christians don't have sex? Especially when it's their name??)
2. We had to wait until we got married (No one does!)
3. He was in the church choir (So?)
4. What if people from church find out? (I didn't care!)
5. What if I got pregnant out of wedlock? (Wouldn't be the first one. Won't be the last one.)
WTF?!? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! YOU HYPOCRITE!
You, who got a bitch pregnant at 20 without being married. You, who lived with your now-husband for 5 years before getting married. You, who let your sister shack-up with a guy before finalizing her first divorce. You, who let your underage brother live with an older woman. You were looking down upon me and calling me names for spending the weekends with the guy I loved (because I really loved him) - A.K.A. your brother- in the privacy of my apartment. Your brother, whom you let live with two women before he met me.
Still I tried to be a good enough in-law. I kept going to your church. I spent time with your family. I went on vacations and holidays with you guys. I tried everything! But you always found ways of making me feel like I wasn't good enough.
When I lost my job on 54th and Crenshaw at LaQuawnda's Weave Emporium and got an offer in Illinois, Christian told you that he wanted to spend Christmas with me. You didn't help him with the plane ticket, or the winter coat, or the gloves. I paid for everything. When we were having arguments - because moving to another country was hard for both me and my boyfriend - you kept saying that you were not going to allow him to come visit me. As if he were a child!
When he got his SSN money and told you he wanted to buy me an engagement ring, you called me to tell me that he was going to propose over Thanksgiving. You ruined the surprise! WHO DOES THAT?!?
I know you're the reason he never made plans to come visit again. You and your guilt trips. He'll never leave you, right? You WON'T allow him to come visit. You and your Jocasta syndrome...
The last day you called me, you told me that I was being selfish for focusing on work. That Christian was suffering all alone. That I had no idea what was going on with him. That you were the one stuck dealing with his mood swings. That he was getting violent and and had suicidal thoughts because of me. That I didn't care about him and didn't really love him. You demanded that I dump him. And then you had the balls to ask me not to tell him that it was your idea. So that in the eyes of your brother, you'll be his savior once again.
How dare you call me selfish for wanting a better job? A better life? You knew that one of the reasons I moved to IL was to get better medical options for your brother. But you only thought about you, and how his moving away with me would've affected you. You are the selfish one. Not me.
Christian's always been violent and you know it. He's been violent with his grandmother and with you many times. The first time he almost hit me, he did it in front of you. And afterwards, you both made me feel like it had been my fault that he got violent. FYI: There NO justification for violence. None! And suicidal? Come on! He just wanted attention. If he wanted to kill himself, you should've taken him to a psychiatric hospital. You were always telling me to stop acting like his brother, that YOU were the brother. Then you deal with him! He's your responsibility, not mine.
That same day you called me, Christian had already dumped me. In a frookies. Again. His signature style. And I had grown so tired of his shit that I let him go for good. And you know what? It felt GOOD!
I wasn't good enough for your brother? No, no, no. It's the other way around: your brother wasn't good enough for me. He's a drug addict, alcohol abuser, schizophrenic, bipolar, jobless, scared little man. I loved him the best I could, and I helped him the best I could. But I could only do so much.
So today you loose your power over me. Good bye, ethan000. I wish you well...
And for God's sake, go see a doctor. You need help!
Leave a comment