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Big Brother and online Hunger games.

Thank you, [LONG RANT]

1stNov 6, 2019 by Aquamarine
Thank you ShayyBayy for your incredibly one sided blog. Thank you for proving time and time again that all you care about is yourself. Thank you again for proving over and over that you are someone who LOVES playing the victim. This will be my very last interaction with you on this earth.

I had endured nearly a decade of your "problems". You want to act like this wounded puppy to all of Tengaged but me, and many of your "friends" know better.

When someone is in a constant state of turmoil over their problems, the decent thing to do is reach out and attempt to help them in any way you can. I did that in what, 2010 when you attempted to kill yourself not only on Halloween but also on Christmas? When I had to spend two holidays away from my family worrying about what you might do next? That's fine, I had to help my friend. You needed it more than I did.

What followed that was a brick by brick destruction of our friendship. You taking one piece at a time until there was literally nothing left to work for. How can anyone put a wall back together when all the pieces are gone?

For six more years I endured countless stories, from your in and out relationship with #totallymicheal to your mother being sick to you not being able to keep a steady job at any point in time. You had it rough from the beginning, you weren't given the same privilege in life that I was. I get that. But you consistently complained about this and ignored any and all attempts to help you. Why? Because you THRIVE off the attention you get from being a perpetual victim.

When someone doesn't listen to your suggestions the first time, okay whatever, they're free to make their own life decisions. But when you come on call, when you text me day in and day out about whatever travesty happened that day and literally acknowledge zero of what anyone tells you, it becomes not worth it to even speak to you.

When people came to you with their own problems you found a way to turn it back to yourself. You take and you take until there is nothing left, and then when you've taken every single bit of hope someone has left in you, you get angry when there's no more to give. I reached that point in 2017. I lost all hope in you. When someone gives up on themselves in the way you did, there's no point left in fighting for it especially when the person won't even listen.

You smoke weed on a constant basis. You once told me you spend over $100 a month on weed. Then you complain about how you don't have money to get your car fixed, or to get a new phone, or a hundred other things. I suggest starting to save $X from each paycheck and try to give you ways to alter your behavior to save money. You ignored it. You told me stories about how you weren't being successful at work, managers didn't like you because you didn't listen to their instructions because you knew a better way of doing things. I suggested to you just falling in line with what they wanted because it wasn't your company, then when you got fired I had to deal with that catastrophe as well.

Addressing your point of "I can talk to a best friend about a romantic interest without them immediately putting me down for it"...I dealt with you being suicidal over an emotionally abusive boyfriend for years. YEARS. You wouldn't leave him. Then when you tried dating other people, you targeted people who were engaged as well as abusive pedophiles, among other things. I wish whoever you are in contact with about these things now luck, because it will only be a matter of time before they are worn out too.

My life, as well as the lives of everyone who comes into your life, is better off without you. I don't have to deal with the constant toxicity that is your life. Every single day there was a new tragedy. You think that you are the ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD that has a struggle. At least others who are much less fortunate than you aren't creating their own black hole of issues around themselves.

Stop sub-tweeting me in blogs. You don't even tag me you coward.

Stop bringing me up, stop messaging me, get out of my life for good.

I have not contacted you in many months but you continue to talk about me.

Figure your life out, or don鈥檛, I won鈥檛 be in it.

And to anyone who reads this, or has called me cruel, I see you zachbbs, please befriend her and come back to me in 7 years and tell me I'm wrong. I implore you.

Comments

Idk the specifics and am not taking sides here, but I agree that everyone has issues and maybe some people have better environments they were raised in or better circumstances but everyone has some sort of struggle - the main difference is their attitude towards their problems. Of course some struggles are objectively worse than others. However, in the end if you were to put five people in the same situation, one would never seek a solution / take advice / would not push through the pain of making changes to better their lives. I've dealt with this with different people and sure they may have been diagnosed with (or not diagnosed with) depression or whatnot but if you read any literature, a lot of treatment is dependent on the individual's ability / willingness to force a change in their mindset and their lifestyle (not medication or anything else). As a friend, it can be draining to constantly counsel another individual when you have your own loved ones and problems to deal with, so you may receive backlash from others for being "selfish" but I disagree with that. If what you say in your blog is true and you were there for even a few weeks or months, that was a lot on your end already (let alone years).
Sent by Kindred7,Nov 6, 2019
Thank you Kindred7. I am, and was, an asshole at many points in time.
But I tried for so long to help, and none of my advice was ever taken or tried. At that point, what鈥檚 the point in trying? I鈥檓 not just here for someone to shout all their problems at for years on end.
Sent by Aquamarine,Nov 6, 2019
#istandwithshayybayy
Sent by Milkisgood,Nov 6, 2019
#Benisanabortion
Sent by saraj10,Nov 6, 2019
Aquamarine, I'll take your word on that you were an asshole - at least you're trying not to paint yourself as an angel here. I've had people threaten suicide to me / to my friends in the past for selfish reasons, so as sympathetic as I am to any mental illness, I also think it's not a good excuse to guilt others or affect their lives so much when they owe nothing to you (not saying she ever threatened suicide to you - i'm just using an example here).

There's a thing called caregiver burnout if you care to read up on that or are already aware of it. The only person you owe anything to is yourself (and to a reasonable extent, your family). Hope you guys can sort things out, but if not, hopefully this doesn't affect you more. May as well use your energy to better yourself as a human being / individual.
Sent by Kindred7,Nov 6, 2019
A mess..
Sent by iScotty,Nov 6, 2019
LMAO
Sent by sjsoccer88,Nov 6, 2019
Oh my god johnny skype
Sent by Carriexoxo24xo,Nov 6, 2019
TEA TEA TEA omg
Sent by kochi,Nov 6, 2019
Oh you鈥檙e johnny
Sent by Fetish,Nov 6, 2019
i-
Sent by Zuelke,Nov 6, 2019
i-
Sent by Cyrus,Nov 6, 2019
https://38.media.tumblr.com/f433e326c2c0d4dc3da64a0be6c36795/tumblr_mfpo06Aj7v1rgpyeqo1_500.gif
Sent by Bridgette77,Nov 6, 2019
Yall havent talked in months? Did she really do a random blog about you months later?
Sent by Piddu,Nov 6, 2019
Yes Piddu. I blocked her everywhere ages ago.
Sent by Aquamarine,Nov 6, 2019
hi
Sent by Castings,Nov 6, 2019
And I implore you to be less hateful and toxic, good luck with that uphill battle.
Sent by zachbbs,Nov 6, 2019
Honestly? This is kinda heartbreaking to read. I always enjoyed your guys' relationship... it was extremely refreshing during the few times we were all on call together.
Sent by BB5lover,Nov 6, 2019

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