Good morning, DJs! I can say that because I'm posting this at 2AM. To get to the point, you were all challenged to send incel music for my lonely incel brain.
Some of you did better than others, to say the least. I think I wasn't exactly clear when I said nothing love-related, because some of you kind of sent songs about like, not being in a relationship, but it was still relationshippy and that's kind of not the vibe I was going for, and some of you lost points for that. That's all I have to say before I get into the safe 10-word judging segment!
tbrown_47 - OutKast - Elevators (Me & You) - amazing lyrics, a little bare instrumentally
cheritaisdelicious - Let's Eat Grandma - Rapunzel - love let's eat grandma, this was great, not their best
turkeylover - Bip Ling - Bip Burger - I WANT THE BIP BURGER
alexavontrayne - After School - AMOLED - sick song considering this is prob a brand deal
mathboy9 - Dizzee Rascal - Bonkers - this was so iconic and chaotic i think i stan
Congrats to the 5 of you, you'll be here another week to send some more hits! Now, moving onto the other 8- 4 of you on top, 4 of you on bottom. Time for the longer critiques! :3
HighNoon - Crystal Castles - Birds - I did have to look up the lyrics I had no idea what she was saying the vocals are edited to shit. Anyways I still really like this even if I had to decrypt it using my NSA hacking software. This instrumental is super weird and wacky I love love love it. That guitar riff is super tough and edgy and it kind of fits with the vocal repetitions and whatever the little slurpy noise is that I can't describe. The break in the end also hits like a truck. I really need to give Crystal Castles full-length deal a try whenever I've listened they've given me a lot of good vibes. Classic.
TheGoodMan - HATARI - HATRID MUN SIGRA - This was... a lot to unpack. I'll start with the positive- I really enjoyed this as a concept. A super grimy, nasty song about hatred winning the day isn't a bad place to start. This is my reaction looking in the mirror at my malformed jawline and ugly chin, so you definitely tapped in emotionally. However, I feel like there's kind of a dissonance for me when it comes to HOW they approached this, I would say. I think the synth line is good, if a little basic but the screamo vocals over it just feel out of place. It's giving me straight-up metal, which is not really my thing anyways. I will say the parts that switch up the vocals and do something softer while sticking to the concept DO work, it's just that this was a pretty strong week so having moments that didn't work for me was enough to send you to the bottom.
ItsAustin - Sonyae - FKN SINGLE - This was honestly fine to some extent. I didn't HATE anything about it, it just felt kinda off-theme. Losing points for that kinda sent you here. :/ That being said, I do for the most part like this- the instrumental is pretty cool, nothing insane but it didn't need to be. She was definitely the main attraction. I like her flow, she gets the point across and gets out. It's good enough in an average week, but again it was still about relationships- it was just about not being in one, which was kind of... a reminder of what I WASN'T trying to hear.
Becksta20 - Jason Mraz - The Remedy (I Won't Worry) - Well, I do applaud your ability to have a good grasp on my music taste and then say "fuck it I'm sending something that's MY vibe" because honestly... same. But you were right, this isn't really my thing. I don't hate it, but it's just kinda average to me. It's just kind of a poppy guitar instrumental it's very like for it's time and I'm sure it hits for a lot of people, but for me it's like... eh. I'm take it or leave it this isn't something I would seek out. The lyrics are kinda cute and I do think the concept is overall pretty good. I'm glad we aren't worrying our lives away, good for us. I'm taking the lesson of this song and leaving the sound in the bin. Sorry if this was harsh, again I don't begrudge you a Jason Mraz song!!! He is honestly kind of a king he just doesn't make music for girls like me. Unrelated but I stan the girl who drops the eggs in the music video.
MichelleObama - Jazmine Sullivan - Mascara - So... this was honestly the biggest hit of the week, maybe? I love this song this is probably my favorite thing Jazmine has ever done. It's such a good song concept and the instrumental is super dreamy and her voice over it... ugh. Imagine not working smart- I kinda can relate I could never be on my hot girl shit like she is. I think that was also kind of to your detriment. Even though this song is a 10/10, it still kind of references dealing with men and being in a relationship, even if it's for the cash dollars. I dunno, it felt off-theme, but it's still a hit?? I was super conflicted where this should go but I did lean towards it being in the top.
HowLovely - Swervy - ART GANG MONEY - This took a while to really hit for me, I think of all the songs I had to listen to this one the most to really understand where I was at with it... and the story is in! It's a hit. The flow goes so hard, honestly, I think that's why this song really clicks for me? I think it's also kind of a cool song, the intro kinda sells me on what the art-gang-money concept is all about. The bass is really nice too, and I like how the instrumental is pretty simple but also never sticks too long on one idea and adds little sounds and distortions here and there... when that first chorus comes in it's really over for you bitches. Even the male is kind of slaying he's very blueface-y with his verse if you get that comparison. This was an excellent submission, good work.
Nalia - Kylie Minogue - Baby - So, on the same level as Austin, this was kind of a break-up song and bitch I can't even get INTO a relationship like... how I'm supposed to relate to this? :( I mean I still do kind of I don't need to be in that headspace specifically. Anyways you didn't fuck up too bad this week it was just like not sending a hit and being a lil off-theme that hurt you here. I am not crazy about this song, it's pretty solid and dance-y but it didn't blow me away. If anything I do really love the chorus when it hits, Kylie is a popstar for a reason she's definitely got that build-up and release on lock with a lot of her songs. The synth line is fun, but I do feel like your LANE this season hasn't really shifted and you haven't taken too many risks, which I think you should be looking to do if you really came to compete. If not... hey. I don't mind. You can send dance-pop songs all season and I won't hate them, I just don't think you'll be making huge waves and it could get you sent home! Luvs drama xx
Judi - Demi Lovato - I Love Me - Oh no... I was so convinced it was locked up when you sent Demi I figured I wasn't gonna like this and it was gonna be kinda basic and then.... I really liked it lmao. I actually think Demi is someone who can make this song a really authentic statement considering she's been dragged to shit for years upon years. Even if there are a couple moments where I'm like... aw c'mon girl the "jedi sabotage" line was kinda corny but I loved almost everything else conceptually. I might not live this down because I'm definitely not the type to eat something this popular but the instrumental is unironically really good. It's obviously a little clean but I kinda like whatever this plinky-plunky synth sample is and the chorus is a complete banger. You definitely came through with something unexpected in the way that it was like... kinda an expected pop song that still worked for the theme and also my tastes. Solid job this week.
So, first, we'll start with the four tops this week: HighNoon, MichelleObama, HowLovely, and Judi.
HighNoon, this week you showed up... and threw up in the womb, and did a great job to boot. You're safe.
MichelleObama, although your approach to the theme may have left the house without makeup on, the song certainly didn't. You're safe.
Between Lukey Moo Moo and Judi Camille Tengaged, you both took very different approaches to the theme and still managed to come through with something that appealed to my incelness. However, our winner is...
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HOWLOVELY! :D Congratulations, you'll win an all-expenses-paid trip to Disneyworld in 2025 once COVID is over. Enjoy the win even though you are constantly on my nerves and I wanted so so bad to be passive-aggressive and not give you the win you deserved.
Judi, you're safe. Keep up the expected-but-also-a-little-risky-and-absolcore pop songs.
Now, as for the bottom 4, that consists of Jana the Bee, Austina Glitz, Becksta Twenty, and Nalia Lita.
TheGoodMan, this week, hatred didn't exactly prevail... but you had your finger on the pulse of what my vibes were. You're safe.
ItsAustin, although your song reminded me I'm still fucking single, you came through with a song that still hit. You're safe.
Between Nalia and Becksta, I think you both took pretty personal approaches to the challenge, and it kind of cost you, and one of you will be leaving the AMTN (absolita's music taste nest) tonight. That person is...
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. Becksta20. I think you might have seen this coming, but I do want to give you your props for balancing your taste with mine for these first couple weeks. I appreciate your dedication to sending songs that were authentically you, even if we don't exactly land on the same wavelength. I'm sure many, many more people would prefer to listen to your types of music than they would mine, so you can take that to the bank!! and don't hate me please. you seem super cool and kawaii
Nalia, you're safe, but step it up next week or the tables could be turned, and that's on Abby M. P.
next episode today sometime after i wake up i need 2 sleep
Comments
Haha no worries, I struggled a lot with the theme and it dawned on me that I don鈥檛 listen to much that is not love or relationship related! It was literally this song or Peaches by The Presidents of the United States of America! 馃槀馃槀
